Trust No One

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!

At the challenge, Just Peachy shows the S14 the reward, which is an "Outback Fishing Package," available for only $49.49 from the J. Peterman catalogue. Peachy tells them the challenge will test "strength, balance, and endurance," and that each tribe will select a person on whose shoulders the opposing team's members will load buckets of water they've carried across a balance beam sort of obstacle course. Peachy must not have too much faith in the intelligence of these teams because he tells them, "It should be your strongest person." Each team also has a water loader, which in this case are Mitchell and Rodger. As Peachy describes this, we get a really stupid shot of the end of a pole on which a bunch of multiple water buckets appear. I can't figure out if we're supposed to think that's a really cool effect. In 1950, maybe. Ogakor chants "Oga! Oga! Oga!" as they begin. Maybe Elisabeth should have been on this team. We see shots of S14 walking, trying not to fall, and ultimately taking diggers. Alicia takes a lot of diggers, which are preceded by my favorite grunting noise. A digger should not be mistaken for a digeridoo. Tina looks pretty good at this and well she should be -- it takes lightness of feet to be a good back-stabber. Tina says, "Attaway, Cowboy!" and Maralyn promises that, "We'll take good care of you tonight, Cowboy," and he looks disturbed by this. Peachy announces that since all the buckets have been loaded, it becomes a challenge of which water bearer can endure the longest. We see lots of shots of grimacing and shaking Cowboy and Michael. Cowboy grits his teeth and repeats under his breath, "This sucks, this sucks," looking like he's about to cry. Peachy announces at this point that they each have over four hundred pounds on their shoulders. Elisabeth does one of her cheers and Jeff takes great pleasure in Cowboy's pain, telling Mike, "He's shaking, Mike. You're not, baby." Mike sticks his tongue out, but not at Jeff. Apparently, that helps with his balance. Mike looks like he's bending under the weight when suddenly his pole snaps in half. He looks surprised and then stretches his arms out in front of him and falls back into the water. Ogakor starts celebrating but here comes Peachy's favorite part -- he gets to put a jolly end to their festivities with a, "No decision." He also summarizes what happened for the contestants, which seems kind of silly since they were there. Mike, meanwhile, is high-fiving everyone which makes no sense to me because he didn't win -- his damn pole broke. There's a tiebreaker now in which each team has five minutes to load as many buckets as they can onto the shoulders of their water bearer. I would have liked to see the tiebreaker be between the smallest member of each team. Ogakor wins and Mitchell chucks a bucket at Mike. And Mitchell should really be celebrating since, as water loader, he did so much. Amber and Jerri race to be the first to hug Cowboy. Mike tells Kucha, "Let's get outta here. I don't wanna hear them scream anymore -- it's scaring all the pigs away." Well, without the pigs part.

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