Survivor
Truth Be Told

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It Was Just My Machinations Runnin' Away With Me

Tom and Kimj stare at their boards in a stupor. Lex Loser has four words circled before anyone else has even moved. Ethan gets a few in a row, and then Tom and Kimj each get one. Teresa doesn't seem to have any, but Peachy doesn't announce this -- perhaps to avoid embarrassing her. Apparently, the winning technique is to stick your tongue out and scroll your piece of chalk across the board. I'm not sure how it helps, but Lex Loser and Ethan are both doing it. Then Lex Loser has all twelve of his words, and Ethan -- who is the closest of the others -- has only six.

Lex Loser starts working on his clue; the intersecting letters are: c, h, l , a, n , v, a, a, e and the hint is "natural occurrence/ awesome power." Kimj has only got four words circled at this point, and Teresa apparently thinks there's a consolation prize for the most perfectly circled word. The editors don't even bother attempting to create suspense as Lex Loser spells out "avalanche" and Peachy proclaims him the winner. Ethan throws his chalk at the board and Tom looks sad in slow motion. Peachy congratulates Lex Loser and proclaims that it will be a "great day." The others slowly come over to congratulate Lex Loser, and Lex Loser surprises Ethan by hugging him really hard -- boa constrictor hard. Peachy then sidles up to the women and says, "Hey guys, we're gonna take a little walk." As they head off together, Lex Loser cackles, "Oh, I see wheels!" He also notices some chrome, and then demands that Peachy "get out of town!" But not in Lex Loser's brand-new Chevy Avalanche, that's for sure. Peachy tells Lex Loser it's all his and Lex Loser gets very excited. In a confessional, Ethan tells us, "When I walked around that bush and saw that big blue Chevy truck and knew it wasn't mine, I was so...like, jealous." It takes him a really long time to come up with the word "jealous." He says he was annoyed and pissed off when Lex Loser won; he tried to be happy for him, but was not. Ethan says it's difficult, and that he doesn't want Lex Loser to win anymore.

Lex Loser sits on his truck while the others stand around and look irritated. Peachy says that now it's time for the second part of the reward. Lex Loser is going to have "a great honor" in being an ambassador of good will from Survivor to Kenya. Peachy preaches to the S5 that AIDS is a huge problem in Africa, so the producers have loaded up the truck with "really special cargo." He dramatically pulls off the blanket, revealing boxes that say things like "medical dressing," "medical supplies," "surgical supplies," and "HIV test kits." I'm willing to bet those boxes were labeled so prettily by the Survivor crew. I'm surprised one of them doesn't read "Purely Motivated Good Things that Help People from Survivor." ["At this point, I sneered to my sister, 'Teresa is weeping. What the hell?'" -- Wing Chun] Peachy explains that he and Lex Loser will bring the Avalanche's cargo, along with another truckload of supplies, to Wamba Hospital, which he calls "the coolest place." Started in 1961, the hospital has lasted forty years completely funded by charitable donations. In a confessional, Teresa says that when they opened up the truck and she "saw 'HIV,'" it was emotional for her, because her brother died of AIDS. She explains that, eleven years ago when he was sick, very little was known about the disease, and the reward made her very happy. ["At this point, I felt like a really, really bad person." -- Wing Chun]

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