Mick goes up first for the purple team. As soon as he starts to pull one rope, two coconuts fall. He's pretty upset about what's to come, but in the end, two is all that fall. Jaison goes up for yellow and while he looks for a rope to pick, Natalie whispers to Brett, asking if he's a "prayer warrior." Brett says he is indeed. "I'm one, too," Natalie says. With that, she takes his hand and prays that God will guide it to the best rope to pull for the least amount of coconuts. Oooh, sorry, Natalie. God is currently guiding eight-year-old Jackie Smith's hand so she can win Jenga against that nasty girl who lives across the street. You're on your own. Meanwhile, Mick just stands there, all "thanks for asking god to guide my hand, Natalie. Bitch." Jaison is taking forever to pick his rope, so now Li'l Russell starts whispering to Shambo that he's surprised that Natalie picked Brett first. "We're gonna have to break that up over there," he says, as we see that Mick's hand has now joined the prayer pile. Fucking FINALLY, Jaison picks a rope so we can end this. As soon as he releases it, two coconuts fall. Five more come down as he pulls the rope free.
Natalie goes next. With the Almighty power of JAY-sus guiding her, she pulls a rope and drops only one coconut. "You lucky little bitch," Shambo mutters to herself. It's not clear if she's talking about Natalie, herself, Probst, or if this is just some residual hate for Laura. Li'l Russell goes up and drops eight coconuts. Then Brett, his hand guided by JAY-sus, gets just one coconut, making it 19 for yellow against just 4 for purple. And Shambo is up again. She gets 10 coconuts as Li'l Russell and Jaison look disgusted, not like they did all that much better. Things start to turn around for the prayer warriors, though, as coconuts go flying everywhere when Mick releases a rope. Shambo cheers openly at purple's difficulties, because she's a bad sport. Then she actually points both fingers at the sky and says "you rock, God." Was she not paying attention? Natalie asked for God's help first. And it should be obvious to all of you that he doesn't exist just by watching an episode of Hoarders. I saw one the other week where a woman was living in a house surrounded by four-foot-high stacks of her own poop. She couldn't use the toilet, you see, because it stopped working and she had the decency not to want to call a plumber into her hellhole of a residence to fix it. So she just went in adult diapers and then tossed them on the floor along with everything else. In the end, the human waste ATE THROUGH HER BATHROOM FLOOR. And that is why god does not exist. Merry Christmas.