Probst is done asking questions and tells everyone to divide into tribes: men versus women. Colton's face falls. He interviews that he knows that he's "the girl on the guys' tribe." Lest you think that's the worst of the people playing into stereotypes in this episode, just wait. You will continue to be disappointed. Because then Probst points out that the women are all happy and excited while the men look glum. One of the women says that everyone knows that men can't survive without women. RIGHT? I mean, who will cook for them and do their laundry? Ugh. Troy counters that the women are all talk and the men won't have any problems with anything. Well, I'm convinced!
Probst tells them their tribe names (men: Manono, women: Solani) and then reveals that they will have sixty seconds to remove whatever supplies they can from the truck to take to their camps. They all clamber up onto the truck like a bunch of ants and start throwing things down. Um... not like ants, which don't throw things, at least as far as I've seen. While the women are distracted by their attempt to remove a bundle of bamboo poles, one of the guys (Michael, we later learn) runs over and takes an axe and a crate of cookware from the women's pile. Opinions will vary on whether that was an ethical move, but I know that it was a smart one. The women should have been paying more attention, especially after Probst told them to watch their items after Michael took the axe and they ignored him. And also, they were all trying to get the stupid bamboo poles and probably missed out on other things.
Time is up and the tribes convene near their piles of stuff. The women notice their axe is missing. Probst notes that they have coconuts and bananas and not much else. The women realize that some of the guys took their stuff and they're pissed. Michael plays it off like he's not sure what happened, because he's no dummy. This will all be forgotten in the mists of time. What's hilarious is that Michael is a banker, so he's used to unethical behavior I guess. Probst tells them that Hidden Immunity Idols are in play but Redemption Island is not, and then tosses them maps. Michael jokes that they need a woman to help them read their map -- like, stop trying to suck up, dude. Probst sends them in opposite directions even though we know they are going to end up in the same place. But they don't know that. Yet.
Chelsea, who looks like a younger Faith Hill, says that she's not intimidated by the men's muscles, because if the women stick together, they will be "one big ball of badassness." But not one big ball of actual words that exist in the English language.