Survivor
Survivor

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B+ | 612 USERS: C+
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On the Verge of the Merge

Last week on Survivor : Gervase threw all laws of God and nature into chaos when he actually contributed to his team's effort. Colleen and Greg auditioned for He Said, She Said II: Island Boogaloo. Dirk banged his Bible all the way back to Wisconsin.

At the start of this week's episode, Just Peachy appears and tells us it's Day Sixteen on the island and that the castaways are "starting to plan for the future" because in three days they'll merge into a single tribe. He repeats this in a variety of ways and concludes with the words, "This week's episode finds the impending merger on everyone's mind." At some point during this speech, the beaten dead horse comes back to life but immediately suffers violent seizures at the sound of Just Peachy's continued yammering.

At Tagi, we see a shot of a little crab skittering across the sand and then a bigger crab dropping into a sand hole as New Age-y music plays in the background. Richard and Kelly lounge in hammocks while Rudy yawns. Susan tells us, "We're having a Pagong day. We're layin' around doing nothing." Richard says, "A change is coming, as they say," referring to the upcoming merger and not to a new Bob Dylan release, and Kelly says she thinks the Pagongers are "nice people" but that they're not taking the situation seriously. As we see a shot of the Pagong team frolicking in the mud, high-fiving each other and applying lipstick, she tells us, "They're playing island 90210; they think that they're gonna go to their little mud volcano and give each other facials and they don't really need to do anything because they're just here to look good on TV." Personally, I see Kelly in the whiny Hillary Swank axed-by-Aaron-Spelling-in-the-seventh-season role, so that may explain her bitterness. Susan names the three people from Pagong that will have to go: Greg, because he's "just too psychotic," Jenna because she's a "speedball" and "she'll grow old really fast," and Gervase because "he's a pervert." I think Sue just described herself. ["Which time?" -- Wing Chun]

At Pagong, Joel tells us it's "one hour 'til chicken time" and that they'll "take the little nasty one first." While he sharpens a knife, Gretchen wants to know who "wants to participate in the chopping the head." Colleen grins in a confessional and says, "I can't. I mean come on, it's a little chicken," and Joel oddly says, "There is not going to be a trace of that thing on earth." Gretchen tells us she has no emotional attachment to the chickens and that they never were pets to her. She feels the need to further clarify and says that she doesn't enjoy killing things and that it's not a "thrill." She then says, "Anybody who eats meat has to realize that somebody killed that; someone's killing it for you," and we switch to Colleen who's in irritating denial as she says, "I don't want to watch it die.

Survivor

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