Udder Revenge

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B | 1 USERS: A+
On the Verge of the Merge

Whoever called that Greg would have a contract with Ericsson for his cocophone antics wasn't too far off; as the voice-over plugs Ericsson, we see Greg in the background chatting away, which makes quite a mockery of mental illness, if you ask me.

Jenna must be Pagong's watergirl; once again she's loaded down with canteens. A particularly bony Greg runs down the beach yelling, "Allright. Who did it? Who did it? Who counted that chicken before it hatched? Who counted that chicken?" While Pagong was at the challenge, angry velociraptors broke into the chicken crate and befriended dinner, if you know what I mean. Joel says the monitor lizards "totally ate [his] chicken." Of course, no one bothers to show us who was the last to secure the chicken crate, so we have no one to properly blame. Gretchen says, "If you boil it long enough, you can eat anything," which I think is a contestable statement as she pulls out nasty chicken innards and then dunks it in salt water. Later, reality-based Gretchen tells us, "Tribal Council is an necessary part of the game, but it's the nasty part of the game; it's the part that I enjoy the least and that I could do without," but I get the feeling Gretchen's not too upset about it this week, with the prospect of Ladies' Man becoming Former Ladies' Man. As the chicken scrap is cooked, Joel says that Jenna "shows guilt" and he knows she's voting for him. In a confessional she says "I can't speak for the rest of the tribe" when she discusses her vote. This suggests that she CAN speak for the rest of the tribe, but just doesn't want to. Colleen says that Gervase is just as chauvinistic as Joel is; she also says she knows Gervase voted for her and that she's starting to have conflicts with him, which leads us to believe she'll vote for him. Jenna speculates that it's going to rain and Joel says, "I think this stuff's gonna pass by us." As the skies open up, a sudden tornado touches down on the island leaving in its wake the words, "Bye-Bye Joel!" etched into the sand. We then see Greg and Joel swimming in the thunderstorm, and based on rumors I'd heard that Joel was injured and forced to leave, I actually thought he might get struck by lightning.

The skies have cleared and Pagong heads to Tribal Council, where Just Peachy stands at attention. Peachy blathers something about "reckoning" and then asks Joel if he was surprised to lose at the day's challenge, to which Joel says they pushed hard and came up short. Peachy once again singles out Gervase (no complaint here), when he says, "It's no big secret about the, uh, comments that were made regarding women in comparison to an animal." Peachy thinks he's so crafty, saying "animal" instead of "cow." Various Pagongers snicker and Jeff gets all snitty-child-on-the-playground in their faces and says, "It's being made light of here but from what I gathered it really wasn't taken all that lightly." He calls on Gretchen who giggles because she's named Gervase as the perpetrator, and for some reason she wasn't supposed to. Gervase plays dumb with no difficulty when he says, "You know, Jeff, I do not even recall saying these words," and Gretchen says, "Right now is when they're gonna play you saying the words," but she doesn't know that they must not have gotten those words on tape and that some sleeping camera guy got to see the evil side of ersatz Bunim-Murray -- maybe Puck! Gervase proves how loyal he is and tries to pass the buck saying, "It sounds so much like Joel, though." Jeff then asks Jenna if she links Joel to the comments and she says he congratulated Gervase when he made the cow-ment. Joel. in an obvious signal to Stayfree, rolls his eyes and says, "Whatever." Peachy then asks Gervase if he still feels invulnerable and he responds, "Yes! I'm feelin' real good tonight. Just because, man. I don't know what it is. It might just be me but. I'm feeling good." Joel looks like he wants to own up to feeling vulnerable when Peachy asks, but refrains. Peachy never asks Tagi these questions. During the vote, Joel selects Jenna and says, "I just, uh, had to vote." Gretchen votes for Joel, with a backwards "J," because he's "condescending to women" and also because "he seems to have the most money of anybody" so thus he needs to win less. Gervase votes for Jenna and says, "There's no good reason why, but it's gotta be somebody and it couldn't possibly be me." Except for that last part. Jenna votes for Joel, moos, and says, "Just a step above a cow," as she drops in her vote and cows everywhere begin boycotting the show. Jeff eagerly heads off to tally the votes and Joel looks like he knows it's coming. The first vote is for Joel; the second vote is for Jenna; the third vote is for Joel and the fourth vote is for Jenna. How conveniently symmetrical. When the final two votes bear his name, Joel grins through his disappointment and brings his torch over to Peachy. Gretchen looks sad as Joel leaves, but maybe that's because she hoped he'd break down and cry or at least trip on a log on the way out.

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