United We Stand, Divided We…?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Strangers In A Train Wreck

The next morning, pirate tootling (this time, complete with guys singing, "Num, num, num, num" in deep voices) returns us to footage of the undersea marine life at the Camp of the Damned. While everyone else is sleeping, Lill goes out to do a little fishing. (Up-and-coming band Pirate Pete and the Peg-Leg Parrots again: "Num, num, num, num.") Back at the shelter, Ryan-O and Darrah share what is...well, I guess it's supposed to be flirtatious banter, but they are really, really, really bad at it. Sometimes I wish people like that would just do it already and stop ruining flirtatious banter for the rest of us. Ryan-O bitches that Lill went off fishing, and shouldn't do that. No one should do anything, apparently, without the approval of Andrew. Whatever. He insists that it's because they should be "more of a team," but I don't understand how you can ask somebody to engage in "teamwork" when that means doing nothing, as opposed to when it means doing something. Oh, and he calls Lill's action in going fishing "separatist." Just a hint, there, Ryan-O -- your terminology may be a trifle harsh. ["The province of Quebec agrees." -- Wing Chun]

Lill's Fishing Adventure. She says that she wanted to go fishing, and nobody got off their asses to go with her, so she went by herself. Understandably, she's about had it with eating rice that has sand in it. Heh. Hilarious Jaws music accompanies the shots of the fish she is supposedly trying to catch with her line and hook. She gets a bite and starts to pull the fish out of the water, but the fish makes off with the hook. Oooops. Lill interviews that they had originally had three or four hooks, and they were down to one, and unfortunately, a blowfish stole it. Damn blowfish. She dejectedly returns to camp and breaks the news that the fish, she is not caught, and the hook, she is gone. I'm not sure why these lazy-asses are going to care that she lost the hook, considering that they apparently can't be bothered to do any fishing in the first place, but they still manage to appear crestfallen. Andrew condescendingly interviews that the only ways to lose a hook are "if the line breaks, which it didn't, or your knot wasn't secure, which it wasn't." How the hell does he know whether the line broke at the knot or whether the knot came untied? Fish can make off with your hook. It happens. Andrew's a dick.

Ryan-O and Osten now have a whine-fest about how they need to give Lill a talking-to, because she's not listening to them the way she should be. Ryan-O interviews that, had Lill waited, he could have gone with her, but she didn't, so now look where they are. She's a fucking Scout troop leader, you halfwit. What would you have done if you had gone with her? You would have tied a better knot? Like hell you would have. You would have beaten the fish with your shoe and retrieved the hook from its belly? Like hell you would have. I swear, there's nothing in the world that pisses me off more than people who refuse to get off their asses and do anything, and then when someone else actually does something and it doesn't go perfectly, they sit around bitching and moaning about the non-ass-sitter. I'm no huge Lill fan, but these guys are so full of it that their ears are leaking. By way of explanation, Lill interviews that she knows that if they lose the next immunity challenge, either she or Darrah will go, which is why she was trying to "just shine a little bit" by catching some fish. Sigh.

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