Vanuatu – Islands Of Fire Reunion

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
Welcome To The Ami/Julie/Leann Show

And to whom does Jeff speak next? Ami. Ami again, Ami some more. He asks her what she took away from the game. But she doesn't answer that -- she first wants to point out that Laurie's crying saved Chris, because all of a sudden, the new theory is that he was spared because they thought Laurie would blame herself. Wow. Ami certainly does have an endless number of explanations for things in which it becomes clear that she, coincidentally, is awesome. Jeff jumps on, however, saying that Chris saying "I'm sorry I lost" was obviously "subtext: 'I'm sorry you lost.'" Wait, what? No, it wasn't! Chris completely believed he was doomed, which he, to all appearances, was. That's kind of a shitty thing to say, that the guy was intentionally making the woman who is still his fiancée feel like crap, particularly when there isn't any basis for it. Bulletin: Jeff sucks! Anyway, when asked for anything she learned about herself, Ami, as usual, can only praise herself, saying that she learned "the quicker you forgive, the better you feel." She didn't learn that she shouldn't have been so arrogant, she didn't learn that she can get on people's nerves -- she only learned how she should handle it when other people suck. Of course. She acknowledges that she had all kinds of "anger and hate towards Twila." And rather than noticing that she never had any basis for anger or hate in the first place, Ami's learned that she should "forgive." Shut up, Ami.

Jeff asks Rory about his highs and lows. Did he take anything away from the game? Rory says he learned that he "needed to be true to [him]self." He also recognizes that it might be better to "hold [his] tongue" occasionally, kind of like Twila. Remember Twila? Jeff has basically ignored her and Chris throughout the reunion because he is so fascinated with Ami and Julie, but there are also Chris and Twila sitting over on a couple of stumps, waiting to discuss their respective roles in the game. But like I said, don't feel bad if you forgot them -- Jeff did, too. Anyway, Rory is also grateful that everybody returned alive. Clearly, Rory is a glass-half-full kind of guy.

And to whom does Jeff move now? Leann. Again. He asks her about the time she's spent thinking about everything that happened. Can I point out, by the way, that so far, Jeff has asked nine people who made it to the merge a total of twenty-three questions, and of those twenty-three questions, thirteen have gone to Leann, who finished seventh, Ami, who finished sixth, and Julie, who finished fifth? The final four have been asked a total of seven questions, and the fifth/sixth/seventh-place finishers have been asked a total of thirteen. I hate it when Jeff reduces me to the kind of bean-counting that's usually reserved for people who make up Excel spreadsheets that show every tie Dean Cain ever wore on Lois and Clark. But this is just ridiculous, and it definitely makes me think that Jeff needed to disclose his personal relationship here, because this looks a hell of a lot like Help Julie And Her Friends Make Themselves Look Good. But anyway. Leann talks about how "empowered" she felt after having gone through this during a "transitional" time in her life. I would wonder what the transition was, but frankly, she could tell me that she was transitioning from female to male, and I still wouldn't give a crap.

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