Survivor
Vanuatu – Islands Of Fire Reunion

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Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
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Welcome To The Ami/Julie/Leann Show

Jeff's next question is to Dolly. How are the sheep? (Seriously, this is basically what he asks her.) She says that she has thirty-eight "baby lambs" that will be heading "to the market" shortly. Mm, delicious euphemisms. Great with mint jelly. Everyone laughs and goes, "Woo!," because slaughter is hilarious, festive, and great for any occasion.

And how about John P.? How's he doing? Well, he did a "Surviving the Holiday" ad campaign with Home Depot. (Insert "tool" joke here.) He's also traveling and "working with kids," doing "motivational and leadership speaking." Because as we have often learned, nothing qualifies you for leadership speaking like being a reality-show contestant. ["Who finished...tied for sixteenth?" -- Wing Chun] He flashes his teeth like the motivational leader he is.

And now, Mia, who has a short, unkempt, white-blonde 'do that I think makes her look like one of the Golden Girls, but whatever. She says that "life has been great," and that she's bartending in Boston. And wooo, Red Sox! Yeah. I feel the sentiment, but...is that the best she could do? I love that they spoke to Twila for about six seconds, but they had time for Mia to burn ten reminding people who won the World Series. What is up with the universe?

Anyway. There's no time to linger with Mia, because we have to get on with breaking my heart, which is what happens when Brady says that upon his arrival home, he got married. Married! This is just not my night.

And how about Lisa and her six children? Well, she thanks God every day. For Survivor. Pfft. Jeff teases her that she didn't want to leave, and she admits that it's true. Lisa was trying to get away from her family, apparently, and was kind of ticked off when CBS sent her home.

And John K. says that he's modeling, but he's headed back to school. "It'll be great," he says with dead-eyed boredom.

Jeff asks Rory about the fact that his wife stopped him from burning down the camp when his time was drawing to a close. Rory responds that, actually, being interrupted in his plans for pyromania is actually his one regret about the way he played the game. Well, that's nice to hear. Jeff actually seems kind of pissed, too, at Rory's wife's having "talked [him] out of one of the greatest Survivor moments to never happen." I think Jeff would have liked it better if Rory had not only burned down the camp, but salted the earth and buried the bananas.

Now, Jeff says that tomorrow morning, Chris will get his big check and the keys to a Pontiac G6. And he will locate a lot of relatives he never knew he had.

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Survivor

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