Survivor
Vanuatu – Islands Of Fire Reunion

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Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
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Welcome To The Ami/Julie/Leann Show

Jeff asks Chris whether this aspect of Twila -- this tendency to inspire votes "against" from other people -- played into his decision about who he wanted with him in the final two. Chris laughs at this incredibly dumb question, and says "absolutely" that was part of the decision. Chris stammers about how Twila is Twila, and that if you saw the show, you know what she's like. She's "outspoken," and "wasn't shy about telling somebody what she thought." Twila jumps in here, eager to lap up some of what Jeff is scooping out for her: "What you're saying is that most of the time, I told the truth, but you lied like a dog and you won?" Chris shrugs, Twila laughs, and everyone applauds, because...well, yes, dear. What show did you think this was? "I think that's pretty clear at this point," Jeff says with what borders on disgust at the outcome, which I think is completely bizarre. I just don't get what's up Jeff's ass about Chris winning, but something certainly is.

Continuing the Jeff Probst Parade Of Baffled Contempt For People Who Voted For Chris, he moves on to Leann. He continues to press the issue of people voting for Chris even though he totally liiiiiied to them, and it's so absurd -- Leann is the person most likely to vote for Chris. Why on earth would Leann vote for Twila? Chris and Twila were both part of the group that voted Leann off, and Twila was the one who was supposed to be on Leann's side. And she didn't like Twila, and she didn't have any reason not to like Chris. She also explains that Chris had such crap odds of getting to the final four -- not to mention winning -- when it came down to him and six women, that she couldn't help being impressed with his game play. "And secondly, I promised Twila I'd never write her name down," says Leann. Everybody's like, "Oh, buuuuurn," and it's like...do you people watch the damn show? That's Alicia's bit, and it isn't even as brilliant as Alicia thought it was, let alone capable of carrying over to another season. Jeff asks Leann whether her vote was also against Twila, and Leann allows that, in part, it was: "Yeah, my feelings were hurt." Not to be confused with being bitter because she lost, because it wasn't like that at all.

And now, we move along to Ami, whom Jeff doesn't tacitly accuse of being an idiot for voting against Twila, even though Twila voted against Ami and engineered the downfall of that alliance. Because baffling votes for Twila are not to be questioned; only baffling votes for Chris. Jeff merely says, "In spite of everything you said, you voted for Twila." And he says it kind of admiringly, like it was really cool of her to put aside the ugliness. Ami sucks up the praise, grinning as if she is a good sport -- which she isn't -- and saying that Twila played her so effectively that Twila "got [Ami] straight on." Jeff doesn't counter that Twila "slit [Ami's] throat" or anything, so apparently if Twila fucks you over and you vote for her, you're a hero, but if Chris fucks you over and you vote for him, you're a weak little fool. Nice. Jeff asks Ami whether her vote had to do with the women's alliance, and she insists that it didn't. Ami pretends to be gracious, talking about how Chris and Twila both outplayed her and laughing as if she doesn't resent it, when she totally does. It's always so obvious when these people have spent a lot of time reading about themselves and know exactly what they need to say and do in order to redeem themselves, including complete personality makeovers. Reunion Ami just doesn't have very much to do with Game Ami, to the point where you wonder if she's in that awesome movie where Mare Winningham winds up with another woman's brain.

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