Back at camp, Dan says Michelle is a "Negative Nancy," which is kind of adorable. Gillian agrees, and says Michelle is "sad" and "doesn't need to be here." Gillian says she'll vote for Michelle without hesitation, both for Michelle's sake and the tribe's. Then again, Gillian says, she may well be the one who's really going home tonight and everyone's fooling her into thinking it's Michelle. Meanwhile, Michelle roams around camp wearing see-through underwear, possibly hoping the men won't vote her off if she gives them a show. At no point do we see her even try to talk to her tribe mates about their votes or convince them to keep her over Gillian.

And we're at the first Tribal Council of the season! It comes with its own snake that I'm sure wasn't actually there when the host or contestants were despite what the editing wants us to believe. Fang enters and Probst holds back his contempt for them long enough to recite the Tribal Council fire-life-torch speech. With that, he starts things off with Dan because Dan is a hot young athletic man. He asks him how he thinks Fang did at the immunity challenge. Dan says they did "okay." Probst was apparently expecting him to say "we sucked!!!!" because he makes Dan repeat himself before saying that Fang is both a "complete disaster" and "in total denial." Whoa. Africa makes Probst really angry. He's even crankier than Randy, I think. Dan doesn't agree with that and says he's looking forward to the next challenge, where he's sure they'll do much better. "Okay," Probst says with a condescending chuckle. Yes, folks, he won an Emmy for this.