Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | 1091 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Elephant Dung: A Love/Hate Story

Kota decides to send Dan to Exile Island. Probst gives him a map and sends him off. He says he'll see Fang at Tribal Council tomorrow and kicks them out. Armed with fishing gear, Kota gets the slow-motion victory walk back to camp.

Unsurprisingly, Charlie says he was "so excited!" when they won the fishing gear reward. Marcus decides to do the Kota Dance, and it is not good idea and should stop immediately. Charlie says he was "expecting the worst" from this game, but so far it's "ten times better" than his real life. Which is very, very sad and goes a long way towards explaining why Charlie is the way he is. This is a guy who is so used to rejection that he pees his pants when someone offers him even the slightest hint of a friendship. "This is totally fun," he concludes. Meanwhile, Bob has something actually useful to add to the tribe as he starts unpacking the gear to do some fishing. The editors would have you believe he nearly snares a hippo in his fishing net. Of course, Marcus the Perfect catches the first fish, and Charlie is right by his side. That's the first time I've ever seen someone catch a fish using a homemade fishing pole, I must say. And I went to camp, where every year, we had to make fishing rods with stick and safety pins. I never saw anyone come close to catching anything. I wonder if Survivor stocked this lake with fish before the teams arrived? Ace catches a fish as well, and Jacquie says she doesn't "envision" their team losing ever. Overconfidence can be a killer, Jacquie.

Meanwhile, Dan's on his way to Exile Island. He says he's not sure what Kota was thinking, sending a "strong guy" to look for an immunity idol. Eh, they don't think they'll ever lose a challenge, so as far as they're concerned, they all have the immunity idol anyway. And since Bob appeared to be the person who spear-headed the decision to send Dan to Exile, I'm guessing he's hoping that Dan getting the immunity idol or at least the rest of the tribe thinking he has it will cause a lot of problems, like last season. Dan tells us that law school has made him an "analytical thinker" and he's pretty confident that he'll be able to find the idol no sweat. He arrives at the "island" (actually a field and a lake) to find a table with a scroll and two gourds on it. The scroll says he can choose to hang out in a comfortable hut with an apple to eat (geddit? It's the Garden of Eden!) or choose the gourd with the first clue in it and look for the idol. Since everyone knows that eating an apple in the Garden of Eden is not a good idea, Dan picks the clue gourd. He says one apple is not worth a million dollars. For real. Anyone who picks comfort is a moron.

Survivor

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