Bob interviews that doing all this stuff around camp is second nature to him because he's "from Maine." "That's all we do in Maine," he says. Um, yeah, well, Julie from Vanuatu was from Maine, too, and she never did shit. And I worked on that season, so I saw all the footage. Not a thing. Except one time when she and Eliza stole one of the group's melons only for it to be too rotten to eat inside. While the rest of the team watches, Bob goes and makes a freaking bench out of vines and sticks. Ace the Prat begrudgingly admits that it's a decent bench while the ladies swoon. Swoon over Bob, not Ace.
Fang comes upon their camp and are similarly thrilled to find huts waiting for them. Gillian gets the group together and makes fun of Probst, saying that "according to some people" they "sucked," but she disagrees. She thinks they're "awesome" and it's important that they keep a positive attitude. She says there's an "African word for 'fierce,'" although I think we all know (and, being from South Africa, Gillian must know as well) that thousands of dialects are spoken in Africa, so there is no one African language. Also, I thought .America's Next Top Model had a trademark on the word "fierce" when it comes to reality shows. Gillian tells us she's all about having a positive attitude and hopes if she can keep that up, the rest of her tribe will forget how much she sucked in the first challenge. Nice try, but I'll bet they'll remember every mealtime that they aren't eating corn and beans. Gillian immediately shows off her "I read too many survival manuals and watched too much Man Vs. Wild" know-how by telling people to be on the lookout for elephant shit because it burns well. This earns the disgust of Randy, although I don't think it takes much to do that.
Despite the rest of the tribe's obvious disinterest in elephant dung, Gillian keeps at it, and even finds some while looking for firewood with Susie, which she immediately gathers up in her hands and takes back to the camp with her, holding it aloft like a prize. She offers to show it off to anyone who's interested. Shockingly, no one is interested. Psst! Hey, Gillian? Here's the thing. Elephants are cool. Elephant shit is shit, and no one wants any part of it no matter how well it burns. But Gillian persists, dumping it on the ground to show everyone how "interesting" it is. "Wanna see my dung?" Dan jokes. Heh. Get a clue, Gillian. You're grossing everyone out. But it gets worse! She picks through it looking for "something edible" the elephant might have forgotten to digest! "Don't even think about that!" Dan begs, trying to be nice. "You first," Randy says, pure hatred on his face. Randy's kind of scary. Randy tells us that he has decided that Gillian is annoying and so busy trying to look busy that "she's not accomplishing crap." Bad choice of words, Randy -- crap is actually the one thing Gillian has accomplished.













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