Survivor

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Elephant Dung: A Love/Hate Story

Meanwhile, Michelle and Ken want to vote Gillian out. Ken tells us that Gillian is a nice lady but not meant for this game, as opposed to the nerdy videogame "champion" who hadn't seen sunlight in years before coming out here. Ken has to be honest, though, and says he thinks Michelle is on "the outs." Michelle says "that's so funny" and it just confirms her belief that she is on a tribe with "the dumbest people on Earth" as if she needed any outside confirmation. Michelle strikes me as the type of person who makes up her mind about something and won't be swayed despite however much evidence to the contrary. By the way, you know what's really dumb? Playing a hugely social game with a grand prize of a million dollars and immediately deciding that the people who decide whether you stay in it or not aren't worth your time. Ken tries to point out that Michelle hasn't exactly tried to endear herself to anyone or even talk to them. "They're all retarded!" Michelle says. Michelle! Oh my god. You are on national television. For your own sake, try to come across as not a complete asshole if that's even possible at this point. She must have no idea how she comes off. That's kind of sad, really. Ken tells us he wants Michelle to stay in the tribe because he likes her and wants an ally. And even though he's an anti-social video game player, he has better people skills than Michelle the entitled beeyotch, who says it's hard for her to pretend to like people. Right, well, that's usually how you succeed in life and definitely how you succeed in this game: you pretend to like people. You're friendly and amiable to their faces and then you shit-talk them all you want to the cameras. You just can't be so obvious in your contempt that they'd consider voting you out over a 60 year-old woman who is obsessed with elephant shit. Ken gives up and says he doesn't know how tribal council will go tonight.

Back at camp, Dan says Michelle is a "Negative Nancy," which is kind of adorable. Gillian agrees, and says Michelle is "sad" and "doesn't need to be here." Gillian says she'll vote for Michelle without hesitation, both for Michelle's sake and the tribe's. Then again, Gillian says, she may well be the one who's really going home tonight and everyone's fooling her into thinking it's Michelle. Meanwhile, Michelle roams around camp wearing see-through underwear, possibly hoping the men won't vote her off if she gives them a show. At no point do we see her even try to talk to her tribe mates about their votes or convince them to keep her over Gillian.

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Survivor

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