Survivor

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Elephant Dung: A Love/Hate Story

He turns to Crystal and asks her who the leader of the tribe is right now. "Right now, at this current moment, we don't have a distinct leader," she says. Oh, just say "no one," Crystal. Probst asks Gillian how she feels about her terrible team-picking abilities now. Gillian says there are a lot of leaders on the team, but no one wants to step up and become a target. Probst asks if anyone is willing to stand up right now and volunteer for the job. No one is. That should be the end of it, but Probst won't let it go. GC says a leader and someone for everyone to look up to would be great, but that doesn't seem to be a possibility right now. And then everyone starts arguing again. I thought Probst was being a dick saying that this team sucked, but now I'm starting to think he's right. They're awful. Probst is still a dick, though. Dan tells GC he should be the leader, but GC declines saying he doesn't want to take the fall for a wrong decision. "If they want me to roll with it, I mean, I'll do it," GC says. "GC's willing to be the leader. Who's in favor of that?" Probst says. "I didn't say that!" GC says. True, he didn't. Stop trying to force the teams to do stuff, Probst. If you want to play Survivor so bad, apply like everyone else. Probst amends his statement: "GC is open to being the leader if you would like him to be." Probst asks each contestant if he's cool with GC as the new leader. Put on the spot, they all say yes. Probst claims to be "impressed" with his own machinations and announces that Fang has a new leader. GC shakes his head and looks down at the ground.

Probst asks Michelle who she's closest to out here. She says Ken. Probst then asks her how much of an impact being last picked has had on her. Well, it made her a bitter loser for one. She says she "wasn't surprised," although I have a feeling she was very surprised and just can't get over it already. She thinks she proved herself worthy of this tribe in the individual immunity challenge, whereas there's some "dead weight" the tribe could stand to lose. Okay, I don't know why Probst is bothering to ask anyone else any questions. Michelle is reality show gold. Too bad she's leaving soon. Gillian knows she's the dead weight and makes a strange sound. Randy nods and makes scary intense faces. Probst turns to Gillian and says she struggled in the first challenge. Gillian agrees and says she was "the old bag that had to be helped up by two young bucks." But she hopes the rest of tribe has seen that there's more to her than one challenge and gray hair. Like coprophagia. That livens up any dinner party.

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Survivor

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