Survivor

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Elephant Dung: A Love/Hate Story

With that, it's time to vote. Michelle votes for Gillian, saying she's the weakest person on the tribe. Ken has the loping awkward walk of a video game nerd. Gillian votes for Michelle, saying she doesn't want to be here, and with an attitude like hers, she shouldn't be. We don't see anyone else's votes, which means it was a blowout.

Probst returns with the urn. One vote for Michelle. One vote for Gillian. And then ... Michelle gets the rest of the votes, including one spelled "Mishell." Shame on whoever wrote that one. I guessed it was GC because he seems to think C stands for Sizzle so he obviously has a problem with his S's and C's. Just to be fair, though, I checked the CBS site and it was actually Susie who spelled Michelle's name wrong. Disgraceful. Disappointingly, Michelle does not tell anyone off on her way out. Probst pats himself on the back for basically forcing the tribe to appoint a new leader and gives them some flint. The super-intense music plays them out and we do not get any final words from Michelle, which I can only take to mean she let out a string of unairable obscenities and nothing else. If she had lasted longer I might have really liked her, but she didn't and it's no one's fault but hers. I hope she's learned something from all of this, but I very much doubt it.

But this is a special two-hour show, so we're only halfway through! The Michelleless tribe heads back, all of them happy to still be here and to be rid of the party pooper. GC says Tribal Council sucked, but at least they got flint out of it, and flint > Michelle. Hell, even Flint, Michigan > Michelle. GC tries to get Ken to start the first fire, but Gillian thinks that honor should go to the new leader. Randy "jokes" that if GC can't start the fire, they'll all vote him out, which is exactly what GC is afraid of. GC tells us it feels good to be chosen (more like have the title forced upon him by the supposedly impartial host) as the tribe leader, but it also makes him a big target. Well, maybe if you had set a precedent of voting out the weakest competitor instead of someone who was young and fit but bitter, that wouldn't be something you had to worry about. GC starts the fire and is so relieved to come through on his first Big Assignment as tribe leader that he does a victory dance in front of it to celebrate. I'm just glad Gillian stayed seated.

Over at the tribe of happiness and success, Marcus is still perfect. Bob is still good at everything, including starting fires. Sugar is still annoying. Ace is still a prat. And Charlie is still in love with Marcus. He seems to have found out that Marcus is straight, though, as he interviews that he doesn't understand why "a million girls" aren't jumping on Marcus right now. Well, first of all, there aren't a million girls in your tribe. Second of all, they can't when you keep hogging him and taking him out on private canoe trips.

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Survivor

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