Survivor

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Elephant Dung: A Love/Hate Story

With that, Fang gets treemail for the upcoming reward/immunity challenge. The winner gets fishing gear and the loser goes to Tribal Council. Dan says he thinks his tribe has a good chance to win this one, although they'd have a much better chance if they were "more unified." To accomplish this, Dan decides to make some black war paint. Crystal loves this idea, and says with the war paint on she feels like she can kick anyone's ass. It's good to see her finally show some personality. Now if only she'd show some athletic ability.

The teams arrive at a field. Kota has no real reaction to seeing that Michelle was voted out last night. Well, Sugar giggles, but I think she does that no matter what. Probst immediately asks Fang why they have black smudges on their faces with this big old smirk on his face as if Survivor doesn't do the same exact thing almost every season. Gillian says they're a "united tribe" that's going to "take 'em on" and "uh ... do it?" She kind of lost it at the end, didn't she? Meanwhile, Susie doesn't appear to have any war paint on, so, way to be unified, Fang. Also, with the war paint all over his eyes, Randy now resembles a scarily intense raccoon.

Probst explains today's challenge: players must maneuver a large "boulder" (a.k.a. giant sphere made of paper maché) through a series of gates. At two points on the course, they must stop the boulder underneath a hanging set of keys a player must climb on the top of the boulder to retrieve. At the end of the course is a gate with locks on it that the players must use their keys to open. They will then push the boulder into a small pedestal and win immunity and all kinds of fishing gear, including worms for bait, traps, and a rather ridiculous rusty barbed spear. And that's not all! The winning team gets to pick one player from the losing team to go to Exile Island, where there is a hidden immunity idol. Probst says if you have immunity "you cannot be voted out of this game," even though that happened like three times last season.

With that, Kota sits Paloma out and the race begins. And -- okay, I'm sure you've all already heard about this or noticed it for yourselves, but Marcus has chosen to wear his boxer briefs during this competition and his penis has decided to come out for air. These things happen, but what's weird is that it's so blatant and the editors either didn't see it to blur it out or decided to leave it in and see if anyone else would notice. And it happens more than once! It's so obvious that I watched this episode on my freaking IPOD (a 5g iPod too -- not the sharper-screened iPod classic) and I still saw it! How could this happen? Well, my theory is that since almost everyone who works behind the scenes at Survivor is a man, you have plenty of the dirty old man editors pouring over shots of half-naked women looking for nipple slips, but when it comes to men's crotches, they're not so attentive. But there really is no excuse for it, since each episode has an editing team specially dedicated to just the challenge segments. If they can't spare a few minutes to look at their final product before sticking it in the episode, that's pathetic. And hilarious!

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Survivor

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