Survivor

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Elephant Dung: A Love/Hate Story

Meanwhile, Dan's on his way to Exile Island. He says he's not sure what Kota was thinking, sending a "strong guy" to look for an immunity idol. Eh, they don't think they'll ever lose a challenge, so as far as they're concerned, they all have the immunity idol anyway. And since Bob appeared to be the person who spear-headed the decision to send Dan to Exile, I'm guessing he's hoping that Dan getting the immunity idol or at least the rest of the tribe thinking he has it will cause a lot of problems, like last season. Dan tells us that law school has made him an "analytical thinker" and he's pretty confident that he'll be able to find the idol no sweat. He arrives at the "island" (actually a field and a lake) to find a table with a scroll and two gourds on it. The scroll says he can choose to hang out in a comfortable hut with an apple to eat (geddit? It's the Garden of Eden!) or choose the gourd with the first clue in it and look for the idol. Since everyone knows that eating an apple in the Garden of Eden is not a good idea, Dan picks the clue gourd. He says one apple is not worth a million dollars. For real. Anyone who picks comfort is a moron.

The clue tells Dan to go across the lake and look for a sandy crater. "The object hidden in its floor will surely help you later," it concludes. Wait, is there another clue there or is it the idol already? We won't find out this week, since Dan immediately wonders if the clue is in the lake itself. He finds nothing there and searches the grounds beyond it for a sandy crater. He finds a dirt pit and thinks that's good enough. It's not, but he digs pretty deep before giving up. It's easy to say that Dan sucks for not being able to find the sandy crater, but it looked like it was pretty far away and on top of a hill, so it's not easy to find. Although it's pretty huge and unmistakable once you do find it. Dan says Exile Island is "the worst place ever" and the clue is playing with his mind. He spends the rest of his time there pathetically standing outside the comfort hut looking in, so sad.

Over at Fang, Matty tries to keep the team's spirits up by saying they did pretty well today despite the loss. Gillian, of course, agrees. But GC pulls a Michelle and tells us that he's starting to feel discouraged and frustrated after losing three challenges in a row and especially after missing out on the fishing gear. Crystal talks to Ken at the dock about who he wants to vote for at Tribal. He says in today's challenge, everyone did his part -- except Gillian (who was pushed away when she tried, but I guess no one saw that or they just don't care). Ken tells us that all challenges thus far have been physical, and they've lost every one. If they're going to learn from their mistakes, they have to get rid of Gillian. Matty joins them as Ken says he's going to vote for Gillian. Crystal says she doesn't even need to write it down on the paper; she'll just stand up and announce it. Meanwhile, the US Olympic Team wishes they could vote her out of the history books, so horrible has her performance been thus far.

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Survivor

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