We Are Family

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!
To the Victor Go the Spuds

Now it's time for the portion of the show where the producers attempt to convince us that the competitors are in any real danger. Ethan and Kimp (or, as Ethan calls her, "Little Kim") are on the 2 to 4 AM night watch shift, and a lion is making loud noises. Ethan tells us in a confessional that they kept hearing the lion getting closer and closer. We see Ethan conclude that the lion is probably stalking them, but he doesn't know why a stalking lion would be so loud. Presumably a lion looks at them, but one should never presume when Mark Burnett is anywhere near the editing room. Kimp tells Ethan she thinks lions make noises when they're calling other lions to feed. Kimp tells us in a confessional that the night was frightening because they had no idea what the lion wanted. She wonders whether the lion was just communicating with the other lions, or whether it was specifically summoning the other lions in because it smelled them? In other words, was it a "Hey there, how's it hangin'?" kind of growl-out, or was it a "Dinner is now being served in the northwest boma" kind of growl-out? Kimp keeps "Oh my God"-ing while Ethan looks typically paranoid. She tells us that the perimeter of their camp is completely enclosed, but that the acacia bushes are only six feet tall, and if a lion "wanted in," it would be able to get over it. "Perimeter" is an inherently scary word, I think. It's always used in war stories and Alien movies and math. Anyway, Kimp sucks on her index finger and Ethan posits that "it's close." Suddenly, Tom joins them; he puts his arm around Ethan and says, "I'll protect ya!" In her confessional, Kimp says of the lions that "obviously they live right here, and they must watch us every day when we go for water or as we come out in the morning and do stuff." If I were her, I'd be more creeped out by the cameramen watching her everyday, since they seem equally interested as evidenced by their obsession with her butt later in this episode. She concludes of the wild animals, "They are really here!" Ethan tells us he feels very vulnerable because the land belongs to the lions and he's just living there for thirty-nine days. Then the lion grunts off, and Ethan, Kimp, and Tom conclude that it's gone for good. Ethan makes some "gimp, gimp, gimp" noises to represent its exit.

It's daybreak, and a monkey yawns. It's not the cute kind of monkey, either. Lex Loser, looking typically evil, drinks something. Ethan is exhausted. Repeated falls can do that to a person. Lex Loser tells us that being in the bush for a month has started taking its toll on the S7. Everyone feels weaker and more lethargic, and Lex Loser thinks it's interesting because it happened to each of them at the same time. He says they feel comfortable admitting these weaknesses because everyone feels the same way. Ethan is hooded as he stumbles about. In a confessional, he tells us that he feels like he's walking underwater, because his steps are slow and his legs are shaky. He says, "You don't pick your feet up as high off the ground 'cause you just don't want to." He says it's so bad that he's stumbling over "little roots," evidently forgetting that, before, he was stumbling over nothing at all.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP