We Are Family

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!
To the Victor Go the Spuds

A close-up shot of Kimj's legs reveal that she's been wearing her tube socks too tight. Lex Loser and Kimp inform us in separate confessionals about the sad status of Kimj's severely swollen legs. Again, she just needs some bigger socks. Kimp tells us Kimj can hardly lace her sneakers, and everyone gathers to stare and comment on Kimj's legs. Lex Loser is amazed, observing, "You just push with your finger and it stays! It's like silly putty or something." Kimj reveals that the swell is climbing up her body and announces, "Wait'll it gets to my breasts!" Insert appropriate Pamela Anderson joke here. Lex Loser tells us that the bodies of the S7 are showing signs of trouble; this is followed by a close-up shot of Frank's scarred legs. He explains that in the past three days their weight loss has started to show. We see Tom lying down on his back; he's sucking it in and his ribs aren't exactly showing, but nor is a big pile of fat. Lex Loser says, "Man, you've lost a ton of weight!" and Tom says he thinks that he's lost forty pounds. We see that Frank also looks very thin.

The tribe prepares for a morning meal, and Lex Loser states their options are "the mush" and "the gruel." He tells us that the tribe eats two small meals a day -- he thinks it's a couple hundred calories, if that -- and in doing so, they're fooling their bodies into thinking they're getting enough nutrition. We see the portions of cornmeal -- which look pretty substantial to me -- being doled out. Kimp tells us that they also snack on kernels of corn, which don't really pop so they just burn them instead. It looks like this really good corn snack stuff that you can order on the web. They're clearly quite proud of their product, Stan and Gladys are. Jesus is proud of their product, too. In any case, Lex Loser complains because the home-made corn hurts his teeth. If he'd heard of the "a-maizing corn snack," he'd be fully aware, due to its catchy and sophisticated motto, that it "won't break your teeth." Kimp goes on to say that they also eat "corn broth soup." We then see a despondent Lex Loser tell Ethan, "I'm eatin' it, even though I don't really want to." In a confessional, he explains that the soup is "just a watery gruel with some, you know, corn kernels in it." Frank sits off by himself basically gagging down the soup, and Tom tells us "it's like eatin' chalk twice a day." He says when you add corn to the soup, "then you've got chalk with some corn." Lex Loser burps through a mouthful of food. He's not only evil, he has bad table manners!

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