We Are Family

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!
To the Victor Go the Spuds

A montage of questionless hits and misses ensues, Lex Loser looking typically manic. We arrive at a point in the challenge where Lex Loser and Frank are in the lead with four leather ties each, and everyone else has only three. Those staffs look pretty. Pretty colors. Ah. But aha! One tie falls off Lex Loser's staff as he answers his final question, and he doesn't realize it until he arrives in the winner's circle. He realizes what's happened and dashes off to find the missing sash, while Peachy announces to the others that "Lex Loser says he has five but he can't find his fifth!" Lex Loser runs back to where he dropped the tie, retrieves it, and returns to the winner's circle. He is frantically trying to tie the leather piece on his staff as Frank gets his fifth question right and runs to the circle. Just before Frank gets there, Lex Loser completes his staff and so wins immunity for the second week in a row. Peachy stands on a platform and crowns Lex Loser like it's the Olympics or something, saying, "You're not goin' down." Frank made a noble effort, but his head is bowed in defeat, so I think he knows he's going next.

Kirstie Alley, how the never-mighty have fallen.

It's now Day 30, and The Peaceful Music of I'm Being Voted Off But I Don't Care Because I've Discovered The Meaning of Life plays as we join the back of Frank's swaying, backlit head. In a confessional, he tells us that being in Africa is an awesome experience, and that the sunrise is beautiful. He says that most people are too busy and don't take a moment to stop and watch. Frank continues philosophizing about how small the world is and the passing of time and the meaning of life and death and the importance of having perspective. We see that the other members of Mofo Maji are also staring at the sunrise, which is an unusual technique for Mark Burnett. Usually he features one tribe member waxing poetic, while another picks his nose to show how much worthier the first -- who's about to get kicked off -- is. Frank tells us that his love of being in Africa grows everyday. He says he loves the outdoors, the wildlife, and even the people "in a way, as well."

And then, in a very unconvincing yet still not sarcastic way, he says, "You know, I love to mingle with people." At camp, we see Frank say through gritted teeth, "'Morning, Ethan," and this is followed by a very awkward and formal exchange of greetings and salutations. Ethan tells Kimp in a joking and comfortable way that he loves the soup, and Frank stiffly adds, "It's always very tasteful." In his continued confessional, Frank tells us it was a wonderful morning and says, "I was just adding to the, uh, wonderful atmosphere and just socializing" so the others could see "there's a soft, sensual side of [him]." Again, this doesn't seem overtly sarcastic, but with the content that follows, it's hard to see it as anything but, unless Frank is truly without a shred of self-awareness. Which would not surprise me, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. For about thirty seconds, anyway. Frank sits beside Ethan on the cart and spouts his opinion on the evils of gun control. He thinks people can use anything to kill and announces to the tribe, "A piece of fishing line, I could kill somebody with." He then proceeds to list all the things he could kill people with -- cars, drug overdoses, malpractice. He doesn't say a pair of white-tail buck antlers, but I'm sure that's what they're all thinking. Kimp tries to get Frank to be quiet; in a confessional she says that it's fine for Frank to be opinionated, but that this -- the morning of a Tribal Council -- is not the proper time. We return to the group as Frank continues ranting about "these little liberal special-interest groups" and the media and "the average working-class Americans that founded this country." Brandon may have had a morning talk-show career ahead of him, but Frank may well have a conservative radio show in his future. Again, the others insist that he be quiet. Ethan looks like he wishes he could be anywhere but sitting on a cart in Africa next to Frank. In a confessional, Teresa tells us, "Once again, Frank is Frank"; we then see Frank brag that the NRA invited him to its national convention. Teresa continues telling us that Lex Loser was shaking his head and Ethan was silently bothered. She talks to Tom about Frank and Tom concludes, "He ain't gonna change." Teresa explains that it's the day of a Tribal Council and thus not the day to piss people off, but she started from the very beginning of the game with an alliance to Frank, and she's not giving up on him now. Unless of course you consider "giving up on him" to be voting against him in Tribal Council.

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