Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
Women Are Useless And/Or Bitchy

Anyway, it's not all about these camera whores. Kristina is out of this game, as sad as she is about it. I'm sad, too! She and Francesca are way too awesome to leave so soon. And to be stuck at the Loser Lodge with Li'l Russell -- no one deserves that. Matt is sent back to his lonely island, and the rest are sent back to their tribes. Rob mutters a "hang in there" to the girls on his way out. Stephanie is extremely proud of herself and says Rob is her only chance in this game. She'd better hope she's on the right side of a tribe swap in the next five minutes or it won't matter what Rob says or does.

Back at Camp Onomatopoeia, Phillip has been left behind with a bunch of women who do their best to pretend he doesn't exist. Phillip sighs that he doesn't seem to be able to say or do anything to win them over, and that's frustrating. He says it's just as difficult as it is to approach his crabs. Those crabs are running away from you because you're chasing them around with a spear, Phillip. I'm sure he'll be throwing one at the girls soon too if they don't pay attention to him. Phillip says of the three women, Andrea is the most approachable, but she doesn't want to be seen talking to Phillip and incur the wrath of Rob, who already sent her beloved to Redemption Island. As for the girls, they miss having Rob and Grant around, especially since now they have to pretend to like Phillip and Andrea. Ashley seems to think she's doing a great job of it, but ... no. She isn't even fooling Phillip, and he's crazy. Andrea, in return, isn't particularly thrilled with the girls, saying they "don't do that much." While she showers in a waterfall with them and their tragic bikini cameltoes, Andrea says she doesn't really want to hang out with Natalie and Ashley, but she has to so they'll think she's on board with them. It's getting difficult, though, she says, as all they talk about is superficial stuff. Instead of listening to them, she collects firewood. She interviews that she'd rather see Ashley and Natalie go before Phillip, but there's nothing she can do or say to make that happen.

Phillip finally makes his move. He gets Andrea alone and praises her for being "the best female worker here." Andrea admits that this game has been frustrating for her. Phillip says he's even more frustrated, because he hasn't connected with anyone on his tribe. Well, whose fault is that, Phillip? You could have had friends in Francesca and Kristina, but then you turned against them and helped vote them out. Also, you make everyone uncomfortable with your choice of underwear and general insanity. Phillip says Andrea is probably the person he's closest to, and that's not saying much. Andrea suddenly asks him if he ever, at any point in this game, tried to throw her under the bus. Phillip very seriously assures her that he has not. And even if he did, what would it matter? Rob and Grant are pulling all the strings in this tribe. Everyone seems to have a special partner in this game except him. Andrea says her special partner is "long gone." Phillip says Matt could always come back, and maybe if he does, then he, Matt, and Andrea could form an alliance. Andrea nods. Phillip interviews that he made some progress with Andrea today, and hopefully that will benefit him down the road. It just occurred to me that this crazy person is still in this game. Awesome. Rob and Grant return to camp. Rob jokes that Kristina won the challenge, then tells the truth. Phillip interviews that Rob is the king of this tribe and Phillip is a lord, just waiting for his chance to seize control. And then Phillip laughs because I think he's starting to realize how full of crap he is.

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