Survivor

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Jud The Stud

Uh oh. Jane is speaking now. And wearing yet another age inappropriate outfit. And hair. Jane addresses Sash first, insulting his mother I guess by saying she raised him to be a "New York City river rat" and she wants him to crawl back into the gutters he came from. "Okay?" she says, trying to look threatening and badass but failing miserably. How is Jud able to hold back laughter right now? Oh, wait - he can't. He bursts out laughing. Jane ignores him and turns to Chase. She's slightly less angry with him than she was with Sash, saying that while she is "still totally pissed" at him, they did have fun together before he voted her out. She asks him what he would do if she gave him the million. Chase immediately says that he would give $100,000 to a charity his brother set up that raises money for cancer in honor of their father, who died from a combination of skin cancer and a heart attack. I'd love to link to that charity, but it appears that their account has been "suspended" and the site is gone. Oh well! Chase says he would also make sure his mother was taken care of. Jud says he wants to take care of his parents, too! He realizes that it sounds like he's just piggybacking on what Chase said, and says they probably all want to take care of their parents. Except Sash, who is evil. And Probst, who makes fun of his mother on national television. Jane says she "thoroughly enjoyed" meeting Chase and Jud's mothers, though not, apparently, Sash's. Because it's her fault that Sash screwed Jane over somehow. Lay off people's innocent family members already, Jane.

Does Ben have anything to say? Do I care? Well, he says he doesn't need to hear anything from Chase and congratulates Jud before informing Sash that he saw through his "fake smile" and goofy laugh the entire game and wants to know what about Ben told Sash that he was "a mark." "What did I do wrong?" he asks. Sash says that if Ben really saw through him, then he should have done something to get rid of Sash before Sash took him out. Exactly. Shut up, Ben. Sash says he thought Ben was a "solid player" but ultimately he couldn't trust Ben to take him to the end, so he got rid of him.

And here comes Dan, who manages to be even angrier than Jane and a good deal scarier. He calls Sash a "spineless liar" and a "phony" whose smile he hates and who needs to get his eye fixed so he stops winking. Sash smiles and winks. Dan turns to Chase and accuses him of stabbing almost everyone on the jury in the back, especially his "right hand person" Jane, who smiles and looks very satisfied with herself. Dan says Chase let her down and let him down, too. "This is Survivor, Dan," Chase says, totally over it. Ha! He's right. Meanwhile, Sash apparently isn't going to say anything in response to these people, so they'll probably vote for Chase for finally having a backbone over Sash, who I used to think would give Jud a run for his money. "Beauty fades. Dumb is forever," Dan says. And he's done on that note. I would not want to make Dan angry.

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Survivor

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