What The…?, Part I

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Pecs Take A Powder

Drake heads for the first tribal council of the evening. They sit around the fire, and Jeff takes one look at them and says, "Well, I think the walk in says it all." He tells them that he's sure they didn't intend to be back at the fire pit so quickly. "Two days in a row," Rupert quite understandably laments. Jeff asks Christa what her reaction was at the ghost tribe's return, and she basically says, "Gee, I was surprised, so I'm glad I was nice to everyone." She has a reasonably pleasant disposition, but she also does have a little bit of that bland, baked-chick thing happening. Jeff asks Sandra about Burton's comment that you don't know what it's like to be down and out until you've been booted out of a tribe. She says that it did hit her, because she realized that all the Outcasts would probably come back very highly motivated to do everything they could. "The way he sounded, he's ready to come back today," she warily says of Burton. True fact, my dear. True fact.

Jeff asks what went on at camp after the challenge, and Sandra explains how they made the guys beg for their lives. She claims that people won't make their minds up until they get up there and cast their votes, which is obvious bullshit, considering that she's in an alliance of three. I ain't buying what Sandra is shoveling these days at all, that's for sure. Jeff asks her to clarify that, indeed, the person leaving is either Shawn or Jon. Sandra confirms. Following the tribe's theory of making the boys dance, Jeff asks Shawn what he thinks he brings to the tribe. Shawn says that he's dedicated to the tribe, and that he'd like to "wash the slate from the past." Eh? Shawn insists that the members of Drake all need to stick together. Except, you know, for Jon, I guess. Jeff moves on to Jon and asks him what he brings to the table. Jon says, "I care more about this tribe than I do myself." That's a lie, which is a good thing, because if it were true, he would be an even bigger idiot as well as an ass. Drake is a tribe created only for the purposes of the game. It has no function and no needs that supersede the needs of any of its members to win the game. There is, in this case, absolutely no reason under any circumstances or any form of ethics, to care about the tribe more than you care about yourself. Nobody's going to get hurt. Nobody's going to get killed. I just don't understand the constant "go-team" moralizing this year. Unsurprisingly, I blame Rupert.

Jeff sends them off to vote, which happens a little more quickly than usual due to all the voting we're trying to squeeze into the last parts of the show here. Rupert votes, Christa votes, and Sandra votes. Obviously, we see none of those three. Shawn votes for Jon. "You've been backstabbing everyone including myself," he says into the camera. Jon votes for Shawn. "Fuck you," he says into the camera. Which was a little bit funny, in its own way, or it might have been if anyone other than Jon had said it.

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