What The…?, Part I

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Pecs Take A Powder

At any rate, Rupert and Jon pretend to make up, because they're both full of it, and Jon's a weasel, and Rupert loves nothing more than to berate people and then put on a big show of forgiveness. It's the same thing he did with Shawn about the spear, it's the same thing he did with Ryan-O about the fish, and it's the same thing now. Different degrees, but it's all the same pattern. He flips out for no particular good reason, and then he wants to be treated like Mr. Incredibly Generous for getting the hell over himself. Lather, rinse, repeat. Anyway, Jon and Rupert both pretend to be at peace, because it was all the fault of the treasonous Trish anyway, and then they hug, and then whatever. If I ran into the two of them on the street...well, I wouldn't be sorry at all, even if I were driving a tank at the time. Talk about "no ill regrets."

In an interview, Rupert continues to cast himself in the role of King Friday, saying, "I'm not saying Jon is finished yet, but...I'm not saying that I believe him at all anymore." Yeah. "Johnny Fairplay is Johnny Pain-In-The-Ass now to me." Well, at least what he lacks in self-control he makes up for in inept improvisational comedy. ["Plus -- 'now'? The rest of us were there several episodes ago." -- Wing Chun]

The next morning, a lovely time-lapse cloud shot starts off the day with a bang. Day nineteen at Morgan, as it turns out, is a rough one. Things may not be as dark as they once were, but we are certainly flirting with a return to the Camp of the Darned, at the very least. Among other hardships, it's raining, and although the tribe is lucky to have rain ponchos from the water reward, they're still not happy. "Bullshit rain, go away," Ryan-O says. Heh, I think that's how they sing that song in Pacino movies. He explains to Andrew that it's hard even to get out in the ocean to fish right now because he gets pounded around like so much photogenic flotsam. In an interview, Andrew opines that Morgan's drop-off in energy has been caused by its lack of protein food. Of course, there's protein in beans, but...hey, it's Andrew, so you're lucky he didn't attribute it to the tribe's failure to listen when he instructed them to start manufacturing protein spontaneously within their spleens. He reminds us that Morgan had some fish for a while when Rupert visited, but other than that, they don't have much luck with fishing. (I will certainly give Rupert all due credit for the mad fishing skillz -- it appears that he is indeed a super-talented fish guy.) Andrew, Tijuana, and Ryan-O stroll on the beach, and Ryan-O wades into the surf to try to spear a passing stingray. The stingray has a strong will to live, unfortunately, and it evades Ryan-O, leaving his tribe to lust after the protein that got away. "It's not that we don't want the fish; it's that we're having great difficulty catching them," Andrew says. For some reason, that comment strikes me very funny. "We're not vegetarians or anything; we're just completely inept!"

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