Survivor
What The…?, Part II

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Andrew's Own Medicine Tastes Terrible

Except that the next vote is for Jon. Jon makes a slightly displeased face, because something has now gone wrong. This is not the way votes have ever been presented. What could this mean? Jeff reads another vote for Jon, and now Jon's looking a little sick. Another vote for Jon, and now you're looking at a very somber Johnny Dickhead. Could this all be some kind of sick joke? What does this mean? Of course, when Jeff reads the last vote, it is indeed for Andrew, so our man Savage is heading home, but if you ever doubted how much the people in charge of this show despise Jon, more than they generally allow themselves to hate the contestants, you can consider the fact that there was absolutely no purpose to what just happened other than to give Jon that horrible moment of panic and wipe that smug look off his face for about ten seconds. Jon immediately holds up the Fairplay Fuckwit Fingers again, but his façade of cool is irretrievably broken at this point. No one's buying, you little weasel.

Andrew takes his torch to Jeff. Snuff! And then, as he's leaving, Andrew -- having to assert his leadership just one more time -- turns back and says, "Ryan-O, D, T, hang tough." Now, of course, the worst thing Andrew could do for his three remaining Morgans at that point was to re-emphasize their existence as a pod of three in a tribe of nine, because if they don't manage to break out of that dynamic, they have no chance at all. Clearly, the absolute worst thing Andrew could have done for those three people? Was that. But it gave him one more chance to look all noble, so he took it. Whatever, moron. Ryan-O, Darrah, and Tijuana look sad. Not so much because they miss Andrew, but because they're totally next. Get ready for the Pagonging, people, because it is on its way. Lill looks after Andrew defiantly.

Jeff congratulates the remaining Balboas on at least making the jury, and he sends them back to camp. Off with you, snakes!

Next week: Christa thinks Morgan is lazy. Tijuana thinks Drake does unnecessary work. Someone is talking about a Rupert ouster again. It's either Burton or Jon who's come up with the idea, so whatever Rupert thinks he did to get those guys under his thumb, it didn't work very well. Imagine that.

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Survivor

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