Survivor
While The Cats Are Away

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When an Elephant Walks By With an Itty Bitty Waist and a Round Thing in Clay's Face...

Did you know that at some point in the life of every Thai male, he is expected to become a monk? Jake and Jan did, and get to snuff torches for their knowledge. Jan takes out Penny, whom Peachy proclaims as the "first casualty." Jake looks wary over Penny's loss, and then heads straight for Clay.

Next, Peachy cites a Thai word, explaining that it's an integral part of Thai life. It's not painting, or praying, or working, but having fun! And who doesn't love the fun-having? In any case, only Jake gets it right, taking out Clay's last torch. Peachy proclaims that Jake "almost single-handedly put Clay outta the game," and Clay responds, "Sure did!"

Peachy next asks which of the following "innovations" originated in Thailand: Tae-Bo, tie-dyed shirts, Mai Tais, or none of the above. Brian is the only one to fall for the old "Mai Tai" trick, but the others all answer correctly with "none of the above." Jan and Jake take each other out, while Brian heads for Ted to "keep everybody even." Ted snuffs Jake's final torch while Helen laughs nervously because she thought she'd be next. So now, only Ted, Jan, Brian, and Helen remain in the game.

It's true that Thais often greet each other with the phrase, "Have you eaten rice today?" Helen is the only one to know this, and she takes out Brian's second torch.

It's also true that Bangkok means "city of angels" in Thai, which both Jan and Helen know. Of course Helen knows, because she knows everything, and of course Jan knows, because that's where Oscar/Oliver the Dead Baby Bat and Lucky the Chicken now reside. Helen takes Brian out of the game. Then Jan goes for Ted, who shakes his head and jokes, "No love, no love." Jan laughs and insists, "No, I do love you!" but snuffs his torch anyway.

The next question reveals that Bangkok is indeed the capital of Thailand. Ted incorrectly guesses Taipei, but is spared when Helen and Jan each take out the other's torch.

According to Thai etiquette, just about anything goes when it comes to food: fingers, chopsticks, forks, and spoons are all acceptable eating utensils. Jan guessed only fingers, and gets it wrong, while Helen went with the trusty "all of the above." She nods knowingly as Peachy proclaims her answer correct, and takes a very hopeful-looking Jan out of the game. Ted promises that he'll remember Helen's kindness, and we're now down to one torch for each of the two remaining players in the game.

The final question asks which country doesn't share a border with Thailand: Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, or Laos. While mulling the question, Helen does pliés, then guesses "Vietnam," which is correct. Ted does not fare so well with his guess of "Malaysia." Helen gleefully celebrates her victory by raising her buff in the air and squealing loudly. As she hugs Ted, she insists, "That was fun, huh?" which is something no winner should ever say to a loser. As Peachy places the necklace around her throat, she does the happy pee-pee dance. He guarantees Helen a spot in the final six, which she deems "cool," before Peachy commands her to lead the others back to camp.

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Survivor

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