Why Aren't You Swimming?!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Roller Away

Exile Island. Adam is not having a nice time. He says that his tribe just keeps losing, and he's kind of starting to doubt them. I'd say he's coming to the doubting a little late, then. "It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys," he complains. Poor dear. It's also hard to soar like an eagle when your head is made of cement. Adam huddles against the "rotted-out" "hull" of a "ship" that's been provided by the prop department. It rains. (I kind of feel like "it rains" is becoming the "they fight" of this show.) The time-lapse photography suggests that the apocalypse has come to Exile Island. A woman's voice begins to sing as the night-vision cameras look on a wet and windblown Adam. He tells us that the conditions were most unfavorable. "I was pretty much just in a fetal position and just hoped that it would go away," he says. What a nancy boy! I hope Nate calls him one. I bet he totally will.

"HYAHH!" says the soundtrack, for no particular reason. Now, it is Day 17 at Aitu. Perhaps it is the day when they do karate. If it is, they don't show it, which is hardly fair. What we see is that it is the day when it's very rainy. Sundra emerges, looking very unhappy, from the shelter and looks around camp. There are aggressive angry-bird noises, and although it initially sounds like Sundra has disturbed a sleeping pterodactyl, it turns out that Ozzy is bringing back a wild chicken that he is holding in his hands, and at the moment, it's still alive. He explains that he caught it. "You are such a crazy guy," Becky mutters, and she means it. Catching chickens is apparently crazy now. Ozzy asks Becky and Jonathan what he thinks they should do with the chicken. Jonathan equivocates, and then says they should eat it. Becky points out that this is presumably why Ozzy caught it, so they might as well eat it. It does seem kind of weird to bring it back like a cat bringing back a bird it hasn't even killed, being like, "So here's a live chicken; what do you want to do?" For some reason, this requires them all to wake up Yul, who wants to know how Ozzy caught the thing. Ozzy says that he caught it on his way to the bathroom. It was asleep in the bushes, and he sneaked up on it. (Chicken: "Can't a freakin' chicken get some sleep without this jackhole coming and grabbing me up like a football? Put me down, you punk!") It appears that Yul and Ozzy team up to break the chicken's neck, and then Yul takes it off to be plucked. Everyone is a little freaked out about waking up to this, so Jonathan tries to rally them by saying they can "respect it and eat it and enjoy it and get nourishment from it." Just the way I like people to show me respect, I know.

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