Why Would You Trust Me?

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Flip! Flip! Flip! He's A Flipper!

Jeff asks where the new tribe wants to live. Nate immediately says that there are more coconuts at Raro, and that there are no rats. He declares that they should go to Raro. Yul points out that Jonathan and Candice have lived in both places, so it might make sense to listen to them. Jonathan confirms more coconuts, and particularly confirms the lack of rats, and with that, it is decided. "Leave the ghetto!" Nate advises. Jeff, accepting the easily reached consensus, shows the group a big boat that's out in the water, on which they will ride in luxury back to Raro beach, enjoying food and (of course) booze along the way. There are many hugs, and then the members of the newly merged tribe ("merged" more than "united," of course) walk off toward the boat. The contestants all clamber aboard the ship, and someone finds the beer and wine, which isn't too surprising.

And they're off! They all sit down around a table to eat, and Yul tells the members of Raro so very earnestly that he's really looking forward to getting to know them. Which is probably true, because it's the guy he is. He'd be looking forward to getting to know you even if you had been hired to beat him to a pulp. He'd just be looking to learn as much as possible from the experience. "Hey, man, you know what? You've got class, brother," Nate tells Yul, already sounding about 75% sloshed. In an interview, Yul is more sanguine, telling us that while the group is sort of one tribe, the players are also obviously still divided as two tribes. So "things look pretty bleak" for Aitutaki (which he calls by its full name, which is so cute), but they're all looking for "any chink in the armor" of the "mighty" Raro. Which contains, currently, a couple of drunk dudes, a couple of girls who dig drunk dudes, and an increasingly unhappy Jonathan.

And now, the Drunky-Skunky section of tonight's episode. Adam, Nate, Parvati, and Candice proceed to get utterly shit-faced on the boat on the way home. Adam actually throws up over the side, then slurs that he's "watching [his] girlish figure." ["You guys? Just go be on The Real World, already, damn." -- Wing Chun] Jonathan is understandably disgusted by the whole thing: "Is that how you compete in a competition?" That's not even the worst of it. The worst of it is that that's not how you get a girl in girl-getting. I can't believe Adam doesn't know that puking ruins the mood. Jonathan interviews that he's trying to win a million bucks, and that he doesn't appreciate the slack-ass attitude of his slack-ass team: "They're psychos! I don't understand it." I must say, I'm enjoying Jonathan more and more as he becomes more crazed; the more he clearly wants to punch Adam, the more I sort of root for him.

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