Last week on Survivor, the tribes worried that there might not be a merge. Sambutwo stuffed sandwiches in their mouths, and Boranew cooked up some KFC -- that's Kenya Fried Chicken. Brandon was so sorry when Lindsey got voted off, but no one else was.
Before the show begins, we must endure a preview for You've Got Mail, a movie which -- as I mentioned last week in the recap -- I'd be happy never to see. Obviously, CBS is spiting me for mocking their efforts at poetry by showing me some real art.
A peaceful ah-um! brings us to Sambutwo on Night 18 as they walk back to camp after Tribal Council. In a confessional, Brandon says that Lindsey "left Tribal Council lookin' like a jackass." He tells us he's glad she's gone and then says, "Can I just say that again?" He can, and does. He couldn't stand to think of going into the merge with Lindsey's "whinin' and cryin' and bawlin' and bein' a baby." He wants to know "whatever happened to leavin' with dignity." I want to know whatever happened to the "g" at the end of "ing" words. During this confessional, a come-hither Brandon lounges against a rock -- shirtless and all Saving Private Ryan. Or Saving Ryan's Privates, if you prefer.
At camp, Brandon tells Kelly that he and Kimp had no choice but to align with Lindsey and Silas because of the Oldskool alliance within Samburu. He says that Playskool made him feel protected, and that he was protected by his alliance. Or at least that's what I think he says. Kimp punctuates Brandon's statements with a nod or affirmative noise, even though if she's anything like me she has no idea what he's talking about. Kimp tells Sambutwo that the ethics of Survivor are killing her because she wants to push herself, but she also wants to keep her word to others. She thinks it's a hard, selfish game. In a confessional, Tom grins, "If you make your bed, you gotta lay in it. And I think they laid in it a little bit last night and got the weasels." He wiggles around a bit to emphasize the "weasels" part. I think he might have meant "wiggins," but it's Tom and he's a goat farmer from Rich Valley, Virginia; maybe they do literally get weasels there, I wouldn't know. As the tribe prepares for bed, Brandon asks Kimp whom she plans to sleep with -- him or Kelly? She snarks that she usually sleeps with him, so why would she change now? Brandon then explains in a confessional that Playskool's situation has changed because they are in the minority for the first time. He plans on maintaining his relationship with Kimp, but more distantly, because he knows that one of them will go before the other.