Will There Be A Feast Tonight?

Episode Report Card
Joanna: B- | Grade It Now!
Survivor: The Musical

At one hour and fourteen minutes Teresa starts belting out the words to "Tomorrow" from Annie. The other S10 are very amused, as am I. Ethan is laughing very hard and trying not to jiggle his bucket. Clarence extends his hand in a grand finale gesture as Teresa does the same. Everyone claps -- Lex on his stomach and Clarence on his chest. Someone yells, "So talented!"

At two hours and seventeen minutes, Peachy appears to comment that "it wouldn't be Survivor without a little temptation." He has with him a "fresh off the grill all-American cheeseburger" with "a lot of beef." It's very large and pale. The sidelined survivors debate who will take the reward, and Brandon is sure "somebody's gone." Tom thinks Ethan will go for the burger, and Kelly thinks Lex will. Kimj tells the others, "This'll appeal to Clarence," but she yells for him to "hang tough!" Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hangin' tough! (Are you tough enough?) New Kids aside, we see Clarence encourage Lex to take the food, but without luck. Peachy then goads them by calling it a "pretty simple deal": he says that whoever feels safe in the next Tribal Council should come down and "have [himself] a meal." He waves the burger under Clarence's nose and says, "That's a burger!" Tom yells, "Bring it over here, let me taste it!" and when none of the remaining competitors cave, Peachy hands it off to quitters. Eating calls for the happy la la la la la music. The losers pass it around, and that burger goes a long way. Kimp cringes and cries over it. As the others feast, Lex yells for them to eat quietly, and Brandon apologizes for making pig-out noises. Kelly tells them not to feel too bad, because the burger's a little cold.

As the camera pans over three of the four remaining competitors, it looks like a bizarre depiction of the crucifixion. At two hours and forty-eight minutes Ethan asks Clarence if he'd step down for an entire pizza; Clarence claims that he would, "100% guaranteed." Ethan doesn't seem to believe him. It takes Peachy nearly another two hours to rustle up that pizza, and still he only comes up with half. He struts out with the plate behind his back claiming, "Next on the menu: it's got crust, it's got cheese, it's cut into four slices, and it is very hot." And it's not Silas after a shaving accident and a one-night stand with Kimmi Kappenberg. Peachy makes "mmmm, mmmm" noises at the remaining four, and in the loser gallery, Kimj complains that if Clarence takes the pizza and eats all four pieces in front of them -- which she's sure he would -- she'll kill herself. But instead the remaining four pass on the half pizza. But get ready for more la la la la la-ing, because the losers inherit the pizza. Kelly tells those still in the competition that the pizza isn't cooked properly, and is doughy.

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