Survivor
Wipe Out!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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The Rubbing Out of Amazon Rob

Mogo Mogo, Day 10. They're not scraping the bottom of the survivalist barrel as hard as Saboga, but they're not living in a Gilligan's Island episode like Chapera, either. Shii Ann calls the storm a moment when you realize that "Mother Nature can be one forceful bitch." It appears that their shelter is largely gone, considering that Kathy is talking about coming up with a new "lean-to and a way to keep an ember." Sigh. She interviews that they made some mistakes in preparing for and dealing with the storm, but they recovered nicely by getting a flint and lighting some fuzz made out of Home Depot twine. Heh. You can avoid hypothermia; we can help. They get a fire going, as Hatch declares that he's almost ready to go out and go fishing again. And go fishing he does. He brings back a collection of moray eels, and his naked delivery of the eels to the tribe leads to some fairly obvious eel/nudity jokes that I lack the strength to repeat, but suffice it to say that they're maybe C+ jokes, as jokes go. Certainly nothing the JV football team couldn't come up with under similar circumstances. Lex interviews that once the eels were cleaned and cooked, they probably yielded five or six pounds of meat, so that's a good thing. Hatch gives yet another self-congratulatory interview about how much the team loves him for catching fish, and this is where the episode really starts to break down for me, because we've heard this, and we've heard it several times, and it's the same thing over and over, and it's not going anywhere at this point. NEXT! Seriously, folks, I get the fish thing. Lex interviews that Hatch is a great fish guy, but that Lex will be happy when they get the last rice box key, because then they won't be as reliant on Hatch for food.

Commercials. It's wrong how much I want to see Miss Piggy kick the crap out of Jessica Simpson. What can I say? In a battle of that sort, I root for the woman of substance.

After the commercials, we return to find Colby and Lex, Ethan, and A-Rob retrieving boxes for their respective teams. You know, by the way, I think they're recycling the pirate music from Pearl Islands again. It's All-Stars, but they couldn't afford new incidental music? Feh. Anyway, inside each box's lid is a note that suggests that the next challenge has something to do with give and take and something something and I intensely hate the rhyming clues on this show. In case I haven't made that clear. And now I really need a beer. Go away, and I'll stay here. Anyway, A-Rob recognizes the clue as hinting at a challenge in the style of the matchy-matchy Concentration-Go Fish hybrid game they played for the beauty shop reward during Amazon. When he gets back to Chapera, however, he announces that the note says, "We've played this game with kisses and hugs, now it's time to see if you can eat bugs." Hee. Everyone cringes, and then he tells them he's just kidding and reads them the real clue. I admit I'm an easy target, but I thought it was a little bit funny, especially since Sue thinks he's serious, and she promises to eat anything. They set her straight that it's not for real. No need to eat bugs yet, Sue -- we'll get to it.

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Survivor

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