As an unhappy Malakal returns to camp, Jonathan interviews that the other tribe just wanted it more than they did: "They just had more heart out there." As some of them chat in the water, Cirie puts in a pitch for her own value. She then interviews that as they prepare for tribal council, she really has no idea what she's going to do at all. Asked what he brings to the tribe, Jon tells the group that it's "morale" and "entertainment value." Crickets chirp, and then he admits that's all he can think of, and then they laugh. Funny 'cause it's true! And then Jon does a big interview where he claims that he has the absolute ability to make the game go in either direction, to the Jonathan/Ami/Eliza/Yau-Man group, or to the Parvati/Ozzy/Amanda/James group. Of course, unless he knows what Cirie is doing, he doesn't actually have this ability at all.
And then Jon begins the Boo Hoo I Miss My Girlfriend And Fetus storyline, in which he cries about how he misses ANTM Michelle and the future Piper (Get it? Rowdy Roddy Piper?), and how he's very very sad. The thing is, either this is genuine, in which case I don't care because Jon's still a dick, or it's not genuine, in which case he's the same kind of dick as before, only he's kind of more pitiful because he's still doing the same shit to try to get attention. And if I cared, it would be better, but...I totally do not. Lie, no lie, who cares? Jon tells Parvati that he's thinking of just asking to be the one sent home. Parvati tells him not to do that, but to pretend to do it so that the other group will be "distracted" and won't realize that Eliza is getting voted off. Does nobody know how to count? What's Cirie doing? Parvati finishes up with a comment about "I don't want Eliza to turn around and snake me." And then there's a shot of a snake. Because things have gotten a wee bit literal in the Department Of Animal Metaphors.
Ami takes a walk with Jon in which he prattles on about having a baby and how big it is, and she sort of vacantly keeps saying "Yeah," and she asks if he could be persuaded to stay, and he says no. Ami interviews, more wearily than anything, that being around Jon, you just never know what he means by anything, so you constantly doubt everything he tells you. She reports back to her group, and they're all well aware of the possibility that he's actually with the other people. She swears tribal council will be insane: "If I know Jonny Fairplay, he's gonna stir things up." Well, let's see.