Survivor

Episode Report Card
Sara M: D | 1 USERS: F
YOU GRADE IT
Nothing Left To Suck

Meanwhile, the four reward winners make their way to the stupid Survivor cinemas. Ben greets the sight of hot dogs, popcorn, and nachos with many WOOHOOHOOOs, while Chase sticks his dirty hands in the candy jars and loads up on candy. They grab food and sodas, and while NaOnka enjoys her hot dog, Chase interviews that she was "extremely selfish" to let Holly sacrifice her prize when she was leaving the game in a few hours. NaOnka finally interviews an explanation for her actions: "I didn't give 110% in that challenge to say 'okay, well, you know, I'm about to go home anyway so I guess I'll go ahead and get you guys the rice and the tarp. Uh uh, I wasn't about to do that. I ain't no fool." I find it interesting and kind of scary how NaOnka seems to think of selfless gestures as foolish or a sign of weakness, especially if there is some self-sacrifice involved in making them. I mean, I guess I can see her logic. It just comes from such a selfish, me-first, I-don't-owe-anyone-anything attitude that she shares with a lot of people on this planet, and they all go around making things worse for everyone else in an effort to make them as good as possible for themselves. So, enjoy your hot dog, NaOnka, but know that in exchange, you look like an even more horrible person on national television than you already did and you'll probably go the rest of your life unaware of what a nasty and unpleasant person you are and probably shooting yourself in the foot over and over again. That doesn't really seem like a fair trade to me.

And with that, we have the long, boring Product Placement portion of the show. The contestants talk about the star of the movie and how funny they think he is and recite movie taglines as the movie supposedly plays in front of them. Oh, good -- we get to see parts of the movie, too. Ugh. My favorite part of the entire thing was when one person (I think it was Chase) made a comment about how the star of the movie is fat. Then Ben, now wearing a strange straw hat, interviews that he enjoyed the movie but couldn't stop thinking about how much he hates NaOnka and wants her to leave. Clearly, this movie is not very interesting if Ben's mind wandered during his viewing experience. Finally, the three seconds of the movie (if that) the contestants got to watch end and they are all forced to applaud and pretend it was enjoyable. NaOnka interviews that she's feeling very energetic and therefore "explosive" going into tonight's Tribal Council. Oh, good. I hope she farts on camera again and really goes out with some class. She concludes by saying that if she chooses to stay in this game, she could win a million dollars. No, NaOnka, you could win $100,000 or however much the third or second place prize is. There is no one in the world you could beat for the million at this point, I think. It is more likely that Wendy will come back to the show and win the hearts of the entire jury and win the million.

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Survivor

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