You're A Rat

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Candice Canned

Adam tells Jonathan, "Everyone knows how you are, it's not a secret," and Jonathan wants him to put up or shut up for once, and so he says, "What am I?" "You're a rat!" Adam says. "That's a fact, that I'm a rat?" Jonathan asks. "I don't even know what that means." Ozzy is over in his seat giggling and looking highly amused, and frankly, I don't even know if he's on anyone's side as much as he just loves a good dumb fight. He's certainly not on Adam's side, I don't think. Adam tries to talk more, and Jonathan just says, "I'm a 'cancer,' I know. It's enough out of you." And then Adam says, "Is that right?" Good comeback! He follows with, "There's absolutely no reason for you to be around now, though." Jonathan, amazed at Adam's idiocy, says, "Says you, jack!" Hee. I love to see a meathead get called "jack." Jonathan adds, "I've earned my place here today."

Parvati decides that it's time for someone to take the intellectual and moral high ground, and who better than she, right? So she adopts her impatient condescending voice and says, "Jonathan, you have. You have outwitted your place to be here today." Talk about "I don't even know what that means." Adam looks over and tells Jonathan, "You're just tired of hearing the truth, man. The truth hurts, doesn't it?" What truth is that, Adam? Is that the incredibly incisive "you're a rat" truth? I think what Adam doesn't understand is that he's swinging and swinging, but he isn't hitting, at least not to make Jonathan feel guilty about anything he did. All it's making Jonathan think is that he's incredibly glad he flipped when he did, and that he can't wait until this entire little group of fuckwits has to shut up and go home. It's like trying to hit a guy in a bar, and you keep swinging and swinging, and you never hit him, but you keep knocking over his drink with your fist. You're being incredibly ineffectual at what you're trying to do, but he's still going to be like, "Quit it." Jonathan responds to Adam's concept of "truth hurts" with "That I'm a rat and a cancer?" Seriously. Yul jumps in here and decides to try to call a halt, but before he can, Adam and Jonathan end it themselves.

Jeff says that, from his perspective, it's not five on three. It's four and three and Jonathan. I have to wonder, why does Jeff feel obligated to say insulting things about Jonathan every five minutes? Is Jeff a little threatened? Because his insistence on doing this is really getting ridiculous. Candice sitting there saying "nobody likes you" isn't exactly ironclad evidence. Yul says, "I would disagree," and even though he posed the question, Jeff ridicules the answer by insisting that Yul is just being "the U.N." Yul makes the point that the things Aitu says to Raro are presented in a way that's intended to go over with Raro. Message? Dear Candice: The fact that people who are planning to vote you out nod along when you bitch about Jonathan doesn't mean they actually hate the guy, all right? "The way they're painting the picture is not accurate," he says. "I'll leave it at that."

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