You're A Rat

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Candice Canned

Credits. Billy, you're really too good for Candice, is the thing. You know how metal is your culture? Hers is bitch.

We come back to Aitutonga on Day 28, and Sundra is showing Parvati how to gut a fish. Yes, with all the fish that Parvati has eaten, she apparently doesn't know how to gut one. Not only that, but she's all giggly and "ew" as Sundra does it, like she can't believe fish (the meat) comes from fish (the animal). Jonathan interviews that Parvati's total lack of familiarity with how fish are prepared to go from water to mouth was sort of appalling: "She's a lazy, selfish girl, and a million dollars to her would not help her in her life. It would screw her life up." I have to say, I loved that line, and I think it's completely true and completely deserved. I really do believe that Jonathan knows that, at this point, he ain't winning the money. At best, he's playing for the second-place money, so he's thinking seriously...if one of these people is going to win a million bucks, who would he like it to be? I think he has concluded that handing a million dollars to Parvati or Adam would turn his stomach, while the Aitu people are generally agreeable and cool. In fact, he mentions to Aitu how shocking he thought it was that Parvati couldn't gut the fish. They all seem to be in agreement.

Back around the fire, Adam stankily gnaws on something while telling Parvati that "this game isn't as much fun in this position." Ha! Yeah. Not so awesome when you're not winning, is it? Gnaw, gnaw, gnaw. I haven't seen anything that sexy since my garbage disposal backed up. Adam adds, "Jonathan sucks at life." Let's see...Jonathan has an Academy Award nomination, has been married for fifteen years to the same person, has two kids, and has been on Arrested Development. Adam has been on The Grind, lists his favorite actress as Dakota Fanning, and sells copiers. Let me put on my thinking cap and see if I can find a flaw in his theory. "It makes me want to throw up," Parvati agrees.

Elsewhere, Jonathan is still talking to Aitu about how clueless the Rarovians are: "It's a social game. I love playing with you guys. I love hanging out with you, we all work well together, you know what I mean? We had it down. I come over here, and I see that I'm in the clown house." Ha! What's more, the editors show a few pictures of the Rarovians that are pretty clearly intended to illustrate "clown house" with a fair amount of sympathetic emphasis.

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