Survivor
You're Going to Want That Tooth

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Sara M: C | Grade It Now!
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Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Oh, crap. Now it's time for Douche's weather report. He explains that the breeze usually blows one way except when there's a storm coming in. I think the fact that there are dark clouds rapidly forming overhead would have clued me into the approaching storm before the breeze, but whatever, Douche. Go stand outside in the lightning and show us all how you're a human weathervane. Hilariously, Douche predicts that the storm will pass them. No sooner does he say that then the editors cut to the storm raining down upon Tempura. Ahahahahaha! They never miss an opportunity to show us how full of shit Douche is. Neither does Erinn, as she interviews that Douche is a "jackass" who wants everyone to think he's some kind of nature god when he can't even figure out if a storm is going to hit camp or not. Erinn wonders if Douche is really just an accountant who's never left Nebraska and is just faking his vast outdoors experience. I guess it does seem unlikely that someone could be as full of himself and lacking in self-awareness as Douche.

Brendan and Stephen arrive at Exile. Stephen says he's already gotten the heads-up from Taj, because, unlike Brendan, she knows how to tell her alliance mates important information. Brendan says he picked Stephen because neither he nor Sierra have met the fourth member of their alliance and he wanted to catch up with him and make him comfortable. That's great and all, but I'll bet Stephen is thinking right now that he'd be a lot more comfortable eating pastries and using toilet paper. They hike up to the top of the dune, where Stephen reveals that he and Taj found the idol and he actually has it in his pocket right now. That's smart, to bring it to a challenge like that. It's not like the challenges get physical and it's in danger of falling out of your pocket in front of both tribes or anything. Brendan tells him that he has the idol as well, so their alliance is awesome. Or is it? Stephen interviews that his first impression of Brendan is that he's a very strong player mentally and physically, but he isn't comfortable placing all of his trust in someone he's only known for five minutes, nor does he want to place his entire game in the hands of the secret alliance. Which I have to admit is pretty smart, even if it does mean that Taj might get screwed over.

JalapeƱo has returned to camp. What a shame that we didn't get to see them using their Kleenex Cottonelle toilet reward. Sydney talks to Spencer about a dream she had about her boyfriend because she's boring. Her boyfriend's name is Kelly, and she wants to marry him. She should; they can be the couple with unisex names and name their kids Jamie and Bradley. Sydney then demonstrates her incredible cluelessness by asking Spencer if he has a girlfriend. He says he's not with anyone right now, although his college is full of cute girls. Spencer then interviews that his tribemates are not aware that he's gay. Um... really? Are they deaf? I mean... come on. He says he doesn't feel the need to tell anyone because it won't benefit him and it could work against him. "I'm not getting married anytime soon," he says to Sydney. Sadly true. She says "it's nice to be free." Sadly untrue. Spencer interviews that he doesn't like hiding the fact that he's gay and wouldn't mind talking about guys he's interested in instead of girls, but he'd rather win a million dollars than be out and proud. It's weird after so many seasons of this show with out gay contestants to meet one who's afraid it'll be held against him, especially one who's so young. Treemail arrives, and it says something about "connecting with your tribe" and comes with a stick with a big net on it. Spencer continues to tell us about how Southerners like J.T. probably won't take kindly to homosexuals. He doesn't know if J.T. shares those feelings, but he's not taking any chances. I guess he's going to judge J.T. before J.T. can judge him.

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Survivor

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