Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 2 USERS: C
Federal Agent Question Mark

Probst tosses maps to the two tribes and they head to their camps. Francesca interviews that Redemption Island adds a wrinkle, because even if they can get rid of Rob and Russell (her plan, obvs), they might come back. She adds that she wasn't even thinking about getting voted out herself, but instead focused on getting rid of someone and having him or her come back. Something about her verb tense in that interview made me think that it was filmed AFTER she was voted out. Hmm.

I'm not going to recap the stupid "What If" segments because I don't recap commercials, but I felt I should mention them for people who didn't see them. Basically, they used the excuse of Redemption Island to explore "What if person X had come back into the game?" No one cares.

After the break, we join Zapatera as they arrive at their camp. Russell interviews that he's absolutely going to win this season, and his plan is to sit his tribe down and become their leader. So that will probably work. Because anyone who saw his last two seasons will blindly follow him. Or, they might try to vote him out first. Just saying. Russell gets everyone's attention and gives a little speech about how he's not there to sabotage anything, because that would be dumb, given his reputation, but he does want to win. Okay, then. I totally believe him. You guys? David, an attorney, interviews that it would be stupid to trust Russell, since he's made it to the finals twice, although he hasn't won. David has Russell's number: Russell is too aggressive and wants the blood on his hands, and that's why he hasn't won yet.

So the tribes have been given a tool box filled with nails and tools and whatnot. That seems like cheating. Although I guess it still requires having someone who knows how to hammer in a nail. Luckily, Ralph the Redneck Farmer has those kinds of skills. He immediately starts laying out where their shelter should go, but not in a jerky way. There's some other dude on Zapatera who has white hair but also a six-pack. I'm just going to call him Silver Fox. He reminds me of Rob Lowe's character on Parks and Recreation because he always seems really happy and obviously works out. Anyway, Ralph whips off his shirt to get to work, as you do, and reveals a copious man sweater. I guess they don't have waxing down on the farm. So then there's an inspirational montage of everyone working together to assemble the shelter. One of the ladies totally does not know how to use a hammer. You don't hold it up by the head! You hold it closer to the bottom so you can get some force behind it. Damn. Also, Russell is just walking around watching everything, while Ralph is hoisting people up on his shoulders so they can nail things together. Who's the leader of the tribe again?

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