And that would bring us to Yau Man. Yau Man starts off by saying that because he's 54, he has "the advantage of not having testosterone overload." Hee. He tells "Dreamz" that he can admit his mistake, and that the situation with "Dreamz" was his (Yau Man's) fault, and that "Dreamz" should enjoy the truck and not feel bad. Now, Yau Man is giving "Dreamz" a chance to "have the gonads" (hee again) to tell everyone why he changed his mind. In other words, Yau Man wants the kid to admit that he saw the money and just couldn't go through with it. But "Dreamz" won't. He insists that he never changed his mind. Insists that he never intended, ever, to keep his part of the bargain if it came to that. "So you are not going to admit you changed your mind," Yau Man says. "Dreamz" insists, once again, that he didn't change his mind.
It's so sad, you know? The kid would rather deny that his conscience kicked in than admit that it kicked in and he forced himself to ignore it. He's so ashamed (probably overly so) in some part of his heart, I think, for having chosen what his own mind considered money over integrity that he can't be in the same room with that decision. He'd rather you think he didn't have ethical qualms about doing it than have you think he had them and did it anyway. As you know if you've read very many of these recaps, I don't really believe in applying morals and ethics to Survivor the way they would apply in regular life. I mean, everyone agrees that they're going to go all-out according to the regular Survivor rules to win the million dollars. It is literally impossible for me to win unless everyone else loses, so to me, nothing I do to make me win and you lose can be "immoral" unless it has so many outside-the-game implications that it goes beyond what I consider reasonable. But there's been something about this that has really bugged me, and it isn't just who I like and don't like. It has something to do with the truck not really being part of the game, but it has something to do, too, with "Dreamz's" inability to just admit what happened, which is that he learned something about how hard it is to turn down the possibility of riches once it's plausibly in front of you. He learned that it isn't as easy as he thought to be noble. He can't admit that he does think it would be more noble to have kept the deal, but in this case, being noble was too expensive. He can't admit that he weighed what he considered an ethical issue against money; he'd rather deny seeing any ethical issue, even though he obviously did.