Episode Report Card
Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now!
"Fondue, Anyone?"

We cut to Susan thoroughly enjoying herself with Brad and Sylvia as Roger watches in agitation. Sylvia invites Susan to come down to the courtroom to see what a civil rights trial looks like, and Susan says, "Maybe we could all have dinner." Behold the liberation of Susan! Now behold the uptightness of Roger, who takes the Tupperware Janet's carrying, lies about having made their goodbyes to everyone, and hustles out to the car. Janet, who had previously been feeling pretty good about the evening, gets that wrenched from her when she sees graffiti mocking her game and calling her a killjoy. I'm frankly amazed Bruce had time to do that, what with his slavish hanging on the Deckers' every move.

Speaking of the Thompsons, BJ comes over to make his peace with Ricky. I see the boy's learned his ungraciousness from his mom. No, wait -- he's got a bit of his dad in him, when he shows that he's kept their old fort-making stuff. Ricky asks if BJ wants to make a fort. BJ says, "Nah -- we're too old." Ricky replies, "Who cares? No one's watching." Good point.

As the Rolling Stones begin with "You can't always get what you want," Susan gazes around her living room with her big ol' mooncalf eyes. We switch to the perspective of Bruce recording her with the camera, and Susan flirts with the camera before kissing Bruce. Then she tells him, "Bruce? I want us to be completely open with each other from now on." "Open how?" Bruce asks. "All options on the table. If you feel something, I want to know about it -- good or bad," she says. Bruce asks if that goes both ways. No, silly -- Susan wants to be emotionally withholding -- it's how she copes with being married to you. Back in the episode, Susan agrees that it goes both ways. All options on the table, lots of talking about what's going on in their pointy little heads. Susan picks up the camera and begins flirting with Bruce -- who seems a little freaked out by his wife's new, wide-open attitude.

We transition to the boys in their fort. BJ eases a little league trophy out of Ricky's arms. Upstairs, a wrecked-looking Roger silently drinks a beer while Janet puts away some Tupperware.

And you know what? I think we've made it to the end of an episode without anyone actually getting it -- oh, wait. Tom and Trina are swimming and swinging with Sylvia and Brad. There goes one strike against Bruce's "Not all of the Deckers' friends are swingers" theory. We see Tom and Trina reach a hand toward each other as they continue with their partners. Back in the house, Laurie comes home and realizes she missed a hell of a party. But she adds her little bit to one corner -- the initials L.M. + D.S. in a heart. Meanwhile, Bruce and Susan are putting the Deckers' housewarming gift to good use upstairs. While I applaud their willingness to spice up their life and all, you're telling me they just hopped to without seeing whether or not their kids were in home and in bed? My god, the 1970s truly were different.

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