Episode Report Card
Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now!
Express Your (Most Authentic) Self

And now, an auction scene. As Janet bids on a dinner at the Lakecrest Country Club, Susan comes up and hastily says she needs to talk: the Ladies' Auxiliary isn't for her, and she hopes that Janet isn't offended. Janet asks, "Why would I be offended? A little disappointed, but not offended." Susan's quite relieved that Janet's okay with that. And Janet caps off the conversation by winning the auction for the dinner -- at $100. We cut to Bruce in the back of the crowd, looking miserable. I would feel sorrier for him, but honestly, by not coming out and saying what was really going on, he's sort of brought this situation on himself.

Meanwhile, Luke is walking Trina around the lobby, quizzing her as to why they didn't end up together forever. "Do you ever wish we could go back?" he prods. Trina tells him, "I like to live in the here and now." Luke's fine with "right here," since it's inches away from Trina, and then he kisses her. She pulls away with "Easy, tiger." Luke protests, "Tom doesn't have to know." Trina says, "Yes, he does." She glances to the left and Tom pops out from behind a floral arrangement, back to his old smiling self. Trina explains, "Tom and I have an open marriage. We don't cheat." Luke stammers, "So you mean ..." Trina comes over to Tom and he drapes a possessive arm around her, saying with his old brio, "My wife and I are a package deal, Luke." Well, that's one way to sift out the wannabes.

Bruce, meanwhile, has tracked Melinda down to the bar and is stammering his way through an explanation of the bet and why she should steer clear of Mareno. Disappointingly, the phrase "someday, the CDC will refer to him as 'Patient Zero'" does not come up. We find out that Melinda knows about the bet and "Mareno just won." Bruce is stunned: "What? You and Mareno? What, here?" Melinda says, "For the smartest guy on the floor, you don't know much about women, do you, Bruce?" He allows that that's probably true. Melinda explains, "I agreed to say I slept with Mareno and he agreed to split the pot with me." She offers to give Bruce back his share of the stake, and Bruce says he didn't bet. Melinda beams, "I knew you were one of the good ones." Bruce smiles, all at least one woman approves of me tonight!

Roger then has a quiet scene with Susan where he admits he needs to get Janet's check back, as he got fired. Susan gasps that she's so sorry, but Roger says, "I'm not. You know what selling insurance is? It's selling safety. And you know the best way to sell safety to someone? Scare them. I was miserable at that job -- I was just too scared to admit it." Susan stammers that Janet didn't say anything, and Roger says, "Janet doesn't know. I didn't want to ruin her big night." Susan chides him not to keep anything from Janet, and Roger says, "It's not about me. I can keep a secret for one night."

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