Swingtown

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Express Your (Most Authentic) Self

After a brief conversation in which we establish how much more excited Janet is about this luncheon than Susan, Roger wanders into the kitchen and Janet fills him in on this exciting new wrinkle in her social life. "These women are terribly proper," Janet murmurs, and Roger says, "Well, then, you should fit right in." It doesn't sound like a compliment the way he's saying it. Janet frets that her outfit's not quite right, and Roger whips out some money, saying, "Why don't you go buy yourself something nice to wear? Not that I think you need it, of course." Janet thanks him almost flirtatiously and kisses him goodbye with, "You have a wonderful day." Roger moseys out the door as he mopes, "Wonderful. Twelve years of selling insurance and I haven't had a day of wonder yet." (Oh God, writing that out just depressed me by proxy. I can only imagine the pool of despair Roger is swimming in.)

We then transition to Teacher Doug's classroom. He's pacing around and telling his charges, "All summer, we've studied the great thinkers. It's time for you to think for yourselves -- and speak for yourselves. So no blue books tomorrow. Your final exam will be oral. Be prepared to discuss the notions of authenticity and self-expression, drawing from all the philosophers we've studied and, most importantly, from examples in your own lives." We cut to Laurie quietly freaking out, as her idea of self-expression in front of her teacher is definitely not crowd-friendly. Well, unless the crowd is gathered at the Deckers', that is.

We cut to the ladies' luncheon, which is every bit as tedious and awful as Susan had expected. Rita Pierce (the wife of Bruce's boss) is finishing Bloody Mary's like she's Elizabeth I. Shortly after informing everyone that they've got to rope potential donors into this shindig, Rita exhorts everyone to give themselves a round of applause, and in doing so for herself, forgets that she's got a big glass of adulterated tomato juice in her hand. It goes all over her jacket, and as everyone rushes forth to help, Rita moans, "A brand-new suit ruined ..." Janet's inner domestic maven surges to the fore and she stands up, barking, "Nobody touch the jacket!" She trots over and commands that Rita hand over the jacket. "Do I know you?" Rita wonders in response. Janet makes hasty introductions, then dispatches a busboy to get her as much Sweet'N'Low as he can find. Janet's got some rats to give cancer, and then she'll take care of the jacket.

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Swingtown

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