BJ and Rick have a double date with Sam and her cousin Lisa, which leads to strip poker, which leads to Rick and Lisa hooking up, which leads to Rick sprinting out of there at warp speed, possibly due to a quick trigger or possibly because he doesn't like girls? It's unclear. But BJ and Sam share a sweet kiss and a Pop-Tart.
Laurie decides to get her license, and chooses Doug as her driving instructor over her father. Doug's tutoring, as always, leads to some nookie, and afterwards he convinces Laurie to use the driving lessons as an opportunity to learn more about her dad, since they're actually quite alike. She does, and Bruce ends up admitting that he's really proud of his daughter, and she's touched.
Tom and Trina go to a friend's new club to check it out as a potential investment and bring Susan and Bruce along, even though Susan and Bruce have vowed after their aborted family vacation to spend more time together alone as a couple. The foursome ends up in a foursome in Tom and Trina's pool after popping some Quaaludes in the club. Tom and Trina decide to invest some of the Trina's family money in the club so that someday Tom can stop spending so much time in the air and away from home.
Roger and Janet are still having a rough patch. Janet starts her job as a temp in a typing pool, and at first is kind of thrown by the boss being abrupt and grabbing her ass. In typical Janet fashion, she solves the problem by being super-efficient and helpful, but also tells the boss to quit with the tush-touching. Meanwhile, Roger secretly sees the shrink, from last week, to help him deal with his feelings for Susan. Roger helps out around the house while Janet is working, which leads to Susan coming over to help him make dinner. Just as Roger is about to tell her his true feelings, Janet pops in. Later, Roger asks Janet what she needs to be happy, and Janet says that she just wants him to get a job that makes him happy so things can be exactly like they used to be. Roger realizes that he wasn't happy then either, and ends up going over to Susan's and, after ascertaining no one is home, kissing the heck out of her. She doesn't really resist.
The episode opens with Susan and Bruce just finishing a round of conjugal bliss. Susan sounds particularly blissful, and Bruce totally calls her out for faking it, which she admits. Maybe she wouldn't have to fake it if she took her top off while they were doing it. I'm just saying. Susan's excuse is that she can't focus, because she's thinking about the problems between Bruce and Laurie, her and Bruce, Laurie and Doug, their disastrous family vacation, etc. Bruce tenderly suggests that they spend his remaining vacation days reconnecting with each other. See, Bruce isn't always a self-absorbed asshole! I mean, when he's not almost cheating on his wife, kissing co-workers, trying to bully his daughter's boyfriend and ignoring his son, he's not a bad guy. Susan's all for it, and in fact, "can't think of anything [she'd] rather do." Not even Roger? Bruce takes her acceptance as an invitation to take a trip under the sheets to see if he can get her focus back. Wow, sensitive and he goes downtown? He's a peach!
Speaking of Roger, he's busy making an appointment by phone with the shrink, but he quickly hangs up when Janet walks into the kitchen. Do you get the feeling Janet gets more done before 6:00 AM than most people do all week? I really do. And my supposition is only supported by the fact that Janet has a spiral notebook with the days of the week written on it and a list of tasks to accomplish each day. Today's tasks include the dry cleaner's, the post office, and a bunch of other mundane errands that Janet has scheduled like they're the Invasion of Normandy. I'm totally fascinated by Janet's schedule to the point that I've paused the DVR and I'm trying to read each day's events. Roger offers to help out. Do you know what Janet has planned for dinner this week? I do, because I've read her schedule. It's salmon, Chicken Kiev, pasta, and pot roast with veggies. Saturday will be TV dinners and Sunday isn't on there yet. Fascinating. I could read a whole book of these calendars. Anyway, Janet shows Roger the schedule and even offers to let him sub out the TV dinners for the Chicken Kiev, and then heads off to work, promising to be home on the 6:00 train. She gives Roger a kiss as Rick (my most hated character on this show) wanders in and says that it's "sick," and the sight of Roger donning an apron is "even sicker." I hate him more than I hated AJ Soprano. And that's saying something.
Now that we're out of Tightass Central, let's journey on over to Swingerville, where Trina is listening to "I'll Take You There" during her morning swim. Has she worn the same swimsuit twice? She must have quite the collection. Poolside, Tom is talking to a friend named Bud and drinking Bloody Marys. Bud is opening a club in Chicago and asks Tom to invest, but Tom is reluctant. Bud tries to get Trina on his side, explaining that the club is going to be called Jet. Since Trina has the money in the relationship (remember, she comes from wealth? Yeah, that was only mentioned like once), she asks some questions. Bud invites them to come check out the club tonight, promising that they'll open their checkbook once they experience it. So it's already open and he's still looking for financing? That seems a little backwards, but what do I know?