Swingtown

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Harry Reems, Marriage Counselor

Bruce surprises Susan by coming home right as she's getting out of the shower. He's all jazzed because it's bowling night, but that quickly deflates when he learns that Susan's still planning on going over to Trina's party. Bruce protests, "Susan, this party is about pornography!" and Susan says, "I know what it's about. I saw the movie." Bruce says, "Come again?" and Susan tells him, "I had to see for myself what the fuss was all about." Laurie comes in right then, asking, "Are you guys talking about Deep Throat?" Bruce irritably tells Laurie she's interrupting a private conversation, and she points out that the door was open. "I've had it about up to here with your sass, young lady," he snaps, then turns to Susan, saying, "I don't want you going to the Deckers' tonight. Not without me." Laurie interjects, "That's Mom's decision, Dad." Susan tells Laurie not to back talk, and she protests, "I was defending you." Both parents give her The Look and Laurie responds snottily, "Maybe Dad's right. If this party's about censorship, maybe you don't belong there at all." Yeah, maybe Susan belongs at home, monitoring your grounded-until-you're-18 ass, you impertinent shit. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go call my mother and apologize for all my mouthing off as a teen. After I get out of this full-body cringe, that is.

Over at the Deckers', the party is in full swing, with Sylvia hectoring the guest of honor about how the movie is a ridiculous male fantasy. Harry protests, "Hey, I'm not a real doctor! I just played one in the movie." Everyone laughs, and Gail comes over, drunkenly slurring about how Linda Lovelace didn't invent that move, and she could sure give Linda a run for her money. And that is how Gail introduces herself. Trina flees to answer the doorbell, and it's Susan, looking pretty in a sleeveless turquoise wrap dress. Go, Susan!

A few seconds later, the door opens again and Trina exclaims, "I don't believe it! Janet?" Sure enough, it is. And she's ditched the usual plaid for a paisley shirtdress here. Tom is delighted: "Well, well, well, look who's stepping up for Harry." Janet corrects that she's here to support Susan. Tom hustles off to get both of them gimlets (go, Janet, unwinding a little!) and Trina takes Janet by the arm, inviting her to come mingle. I love it!

As the party continues, poor Harry finds himself fending off Gail's increasingly explicit overtures, and he flees to the kitchen. We see Susan heading over to Sylvia's knot of people; Sylvia is holding forth with, "It's a complete witch hunt, conceived and executed by Washington ideologues." Susan interjects with, "And we're all paying for it with our tax dollars." This opens up into a nice back-and-forth where Susan admits that Sylvia has a point, and Sylvia apologizes for bulldozing over Susan earlier. They toast one another.

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Swingtown

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