The episode opens with an apple pie. Anyone else suddenly peckish? Janet takes the pie out of the oven and carries it over to the counter with a satisfied smile. Roger comes in and says appreciatively, "Oooh, hot apple pie! Now that's a way to start off the week." Janet disagrees: the way to start off the week is to smack your husband's hand when he makes a play for the pie. Silly Janet! Just let Roger scoop a finger into the pie and see how he likes it when boiling hot pectin coats his index finger and causes a third-degree burn. That'll learn him.

Anyway, Roger pleads for, "Just one tiny little slice," and immediately after Janet says, "Sorry --" Trina comes sauntering in, saying, "For Pete's sake, Janet. Let the man have some pie." She scoops a finger into the pie and holds it up to Roger's mouth, cooing, "Heaven knows the man could use a little pie." (Worth noting, FYI: Janet is in one of her plaid shirtdresses, while Trina is either in a strapless dress or nothing at all.) Roger appreciatively licks off the pie and Janet snaps, "Roger!"

Enter Tom, in the porniest manner possible: shirtless and draped in a doorway, casually saying, "Something smells good." He comes over and begins groping Janet, saying, "Thanks, Jan." Janet manages to stammer out, "It's-it's Janet." Tom purrs, "Janet. You're in good hands. You both are." And then the swinging commences, set to "Hooked on a Feeling." The dream is interrupted only by the buzzing pie timer -- which is, in real life, the phone ringing on the wall.

Janet had been napping at her table in the kitchen (odd choice, but I applaud naps on general principle. Roger comes in and prepares to get the phone but Janet snaps at him not to. It turns out she's ignoring Susan's calls. Roger wonders about their standing card date with the Millers, but Janet's not so concerned about that. Amid much eye-rolling, her husband and son sit down to breakfast.

We zip over to Susan, who's listening to the phone ring. Her reverie is interrupted by Bruce, who wants her to consult on which tie he should wear: "Second week with the new firm. It's time to make an impression." Going by the heaps of boxes still piled up in the closet, it's also time to get to the unpacking. I know it's the 1970s and therefore there is neither curbside recycling nor Craigslist, but come on! Lose the boxes. Susan gives her opinion, which Bruce promptly ignores. She then reminds him that it's bridge night with Roger and Janet, which Bruce promptly ridicules. Susan admits that she's not sure they'll have the card game since "I haven't been able to get a hold of Janet since --" "Since we brought them to a swingers' party on Saturday night?" Bruce interrupts, grinning. Question to the audience: which do you think Bruce enjoyed more -- the swinging or thinking of himself as a swinger?