Episode Report Card
Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now!
I'd Love to Stick Around, But I'm Running Behind

And on the other end of the spectrum ... Bruce is quizzing Susan on when lunch will be ready, then laying out the Mandatory Fun schedule they're all expected to follow. Bruce has missed his vocation; he should have spent weekends as a Boy Scout leader. There, the children have to submit to your roster of charades and marshmallow roasting. Sadly, Bruce's mood goes south when he notices that Laurie's still on the phone. Susan handles it, asking Laurie to hang up, since it's been an hour already. When Laurie hangs up, Susan tells her, "We're not being jerks. There are reasons why we're concerned about you dating him." Laurie replies, "I know. They just don't matter to me." Because Susan is more concerned about being Laurie's pal instead of her mother, she does not reply, "I don't care if they matter to you or not. They matter to me and your father, and we're the ones setting the rules."

Back home, Janet is sublimating her fury with a knife and some hapless vegetables (seriously, she is liquefying them with one kung-fu move) while ranting, "I can't believe the nerve of that woman telling me I have issues! And you didn't help." Roger says, "I just figured we should stay since we're paying for the whole hour." Janet says, "No, we are not. I refuse to pay for services we did not receive -- and I'm going to let her know that." Oh my god, that would work out so well for both Janet and Dr. Gardiner. One gets catharsis, the other gets material for a paper the APA could dine out on for years.

The phone rings, and Roger's delighted to find out that it's Susan. Sadly, their adolescent flirtation can't get any further because Janet's under the impression that her best friend might want to talk to her. Janet wants the number for the cabin just-in-case. Roger mopes.

Time has elapsed, because now we're at Bruce's planned evening of charades, and BJ has not found a way to hip everyone to The Towering Inferno. Oooh, that would be a hard one. But it's not easier when BJ and Ricky are still at each other's throats and Laurie is whining about how she doesn't want to play. "We're forced to pretend we're having fun!" she self-righteously blares. (When Ricky is a more sympathetic character, you're in trouble, Laurie.) Bruce issues a blanket anti-Doug proclamation and after Laurie goads, "You can't stop me from seeing him," Bruce figures the least he can do is stop her from talking to him. So he rips the phone out of the wall. Both Laurie and Susan are shocked by this. BJ is like, "When my girlfriend's coke whore mom seems more reasonable than my own parents, it's a bad sign."

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