Episode Report Card
Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now!
I'd Love to Stick Around, But I'm Running Behind

Later, Susan dials the Thompsons so she can talk to her crush. (He is, by the way, reading the book Janet set out for him.) But when Bruce comes in, she's all, "Yes, the phone line is working fine, thanks for checking!" because ... well, she blew off their date. Bruce is pissed: "You stood me up!" and Susan tries to a) blame Laurie and b) be all, "We can go now!" But Bruce doesn't want any pity picnic, and he rightfully points out to Susan that her standing him up is a big deal. Instead of apologizing for hurting his feelings or disappointing him, Susan goes on the defensive with, "Things can't always go according to your plan!" But before the fight can really get going, Laurie intervenes. Or rather, BJ intervenes on her behalf, as he comes in bearing a note in which Laurie's announced her intention to take off.

We cut to her hitchhiking. An old lady picks her up -- too bad, because I was hoping for a knife-wielding maniac -- and begins lecturing, "Hitchin' ain't the smartest thing for a girl. You trying to get yourself killed?" And then we discover that this angel of the back roads has been married at least four times, and she explains to the hyper-focused Laurie that "men are like light bulbs. You keep screwing 'til one of them works. And they don't last forever." Laurie finds this sad, but our lady of two-lanes explains that it's not. All you have to do, she says, is "love the hell out of them, marry them, don't marry them, just get in the game. Forever is not the point." Does this message sink in with Laurie? Of course not. It's different for her and Doug. Their love is special! You just don't understand!

Back at the Deckers', Tom is doing laps in the pool, so he's all wet and shirtless and scantily clad when Janet shows up. This is both good and bad for her, I'm thinking. She's about to launch into her I-just-want-to-be-friends spiel when Trina comes racing back in from the store (she forgot her billfold), and since Tom is currently on the Total Honesty Train, he's all, "Janet has something to tell us." Panicking, Janet ends up inviting the Deckers for dinner. This has all the makings of a disaster, as the Thompsons' early dinner hour (5:30) has Tom saying in a bewildered voice, "That's like lunch!" No, Tom, that's like how many families with kids eat. Apparently, children like being fed regularly and they usually haven't had the chance to fill up on mixed nuts at cocktail hour.

A worried Susan and Bruce are now multitasking: driving around looking for Laurie and playing the blame game.

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