Episode Report Card
Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now!
I'd Love to Stick Around, But I'm Running Behind

She calls and gets Doug at his apartment. (Which, by the way, is filled with people; looks like Doug has not been sitting around pining for Laurie.) Susan briefly introduces herself, and Doug says, "She just called me. She's at a diner in Honey Creek called the Way Station Coffee Shop. I told her to stay put and I'd come get her." Susan is flabbergasted that Laurie made it that far. Doug launches into an apology, but Susan's like, "I have to go.

Susan and Bruce head into the diner. Susan is relieved to see that Laurie hasn't been turned into a bloody hash by a deranged killer. Well, someone has to be, I suppose. She hugs her daughter, and then Bruce steps in to play bad cop. Laurie petulantly refuses to, whining, "Doug's picking me up. We're going to the concert." Sadly, nobody replies, Fine -- and then when you get back, you'll be going to your room, as you'll be grounded for the rest of 1976. Bruce is about to tell Laurie where to shove it and how high it should go, when Doug enters the diner. Laurie immediately runs over to him, and so does Bruce. Now guess which one wants to kiss him and which one wants to kill him. Susan tells Bruce to calm down, adding, "He helped us find her." Laurie asks, "You told my parents where I was?" Doug replies, "You scared the hell out of them!" Bruce snarls, "I ought to have you arrested." Laurie interposes and says, "You do that and you will never see me again." Oh, promises, promises. We viewers aren't that lucky. Susan finally snaps, "Okay! Time out! Everyone back off and take a breath. We need ... pie."

Cut to all four people just wasting their pie by staring at it. This blatant pastry neglect just breaks my heart. Bruce breaks the ice by asking, "So, you don't know anybody your own age?" and Doug concedes that it's a fair question. He calmly and maturely starts stating his case with, "I'm 24, Laurie's 17 --" "Mom was 16 when you guys got married," Laurie interrupts, and you can see Doug recalibrating. "I'm 24, and I apparently enjoy dating girls who act like they're ten. Oh God." Susan tries to play peacemaker by pointing out that Laurie's spiking libido has prompted a few positive side effects like community activism and good grades. Bruce asks, "How hard can it be to get good grades if you're dating the teacher?" Laurie spoils for another fight, but Doug has on his big-boy pants, and he says, "Mr. Miller, you feel she's too young to be dating someone like me, and I respect that. I do. I fought the idea myself. But I care about her, and at some point, I realized Laurie's capable of making her own choices, and I respect that too." Well, Susan's moved. Bruce, not so much.

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