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Teach Your Children Well…

Aaand ... fade to Doug's apartment. Doug's bare-chested in his bed, and Laurie's wearing his shirt, so I think we can all infer what's gone on. Laurie busts Doug's chops for owning a lot of John Denver, and I have to say, you just STEP OFF the late John Denver, missy. Doug redeems some of his cool points by reminding Laurie he also likes Roxy Music, and then the two start talking about the GOP convention and Ford's likely nomination that evening. One handy reminder that Doug does not own a TV plus Laurie's gleeful recollection that her parents will be out late makes for the conclusion that these two young brainy lovers will have the Miller house to themselves for nomination-watching and canoodling. Laurie sells it with "What better place to watch the Republican nomination than in an actual Republican living room?

We cut to Susan -- lovely in a purple chiffon dress with a handkerchief hem -- coming over to visit Trina. After Susan shares the news about the Pendulum Club, Trina asks, "What brought that on?" Susan explains, "Bruce kissed Melinda -- twice. And I guess he's been to her apartment too ... he said nothing more happened, and I believe him. I don't think it's anything more than a work crush, like Tom and that stewardess Bobbi." "If Bobbi had a brain," Trina wryly replies. She then asks if maybe, since Susan's cheesed about infidelity, heading to a swingers' club might not be the best idea. Susan's all, "It'll be a better idea if you and Tom join us" and Trina's like, "What part of 'we closed our marriage' means it makes sense for us to go to a swingers' club?" Yet Susan gives her the doe eyes and pleads that the poor, naïve Millers could use Trina "for moral support tonight. Just as a tour guide." Susan adds, "If Bruce is tempted, I want it to be something he can share with me, not hide from me." The no-more-secrets approach totally sells Trina. And then her doorbell rings again.

Janet comes bustling in, saying excitedly, "Your tin, plus some liners for your next batch. I wrote down a few of my favorite recipes. And if I could offer a tip? Applesauce. Makes them unspeakably moist." Trina, for whom the words "unspeakably moist" probably have a decidedly not-culinary context, is touched nonetheless. So am I. Yay! The girls have made up! This episode can end now.

But no, there's more -- Janet compliments Susan on her outfit, and within a few conversational twists and turns, Janet has somehow managed to invite herself along to the club, and Trina's promised to pick something for Janet to wear. As she steers Janet to her wardrobe, Trina warns her, "There's a few things you need to know about the Pendulum Club ..." Susan takes Janet's other arm as Janet asks faintly, "Pendulum Club?"

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