Swingtown

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Teach Your Children Well…

And now, back to our regularly scheduled adult plotlines.

At the Millers' house, it's Fun with Punditry, starring America's Fun Couple, Under-25 bracket. Doug's explaining to Laurie how it's good for the Democrats that they're running their idealistic newcomer who represents change against a crusty symbol of the corrupt old guard, and I experience profound temporal confusion for a moment. That clears up once Laurie gets Doug's motor by rattling off the name of the prime minister of France and it is not Sarkozy.

Back at the club, the Millers and Davises continue their awkward courtship of one another. Once Bruce gets up to go to the bathroom, the courtship continues further.

And now, Bruce is trying to make his way into a drapery-obscured back area, but the bouncer -- who is, in keeping with the cheesy theme, dressed like Messalina -- won't let him in. Tom smoothly intercedes to keep everyone happy, he and Trina added in strained voices that they're not playing tonight, and Bruce is saved from further faux pas by Susan's arrival and subsequent ramming of her tongue down his throat. Messalina tells Bruce that since he's now got a ladyfriend, he too can join the whole tacky orgy taking place behind the curtain. (Seriously, it's like the unsexiest thing ever. It's as if a nudist colony decided to put on a production of Cats and the Stevie Nicks summer camp across the lake generously offered to dress the sets.) Susan keeps them from the tacky by passing on the news that she's invited the Davises back to the Miller house for some private couples' time. Oh, sure, Susan claims it's an interview, but going by the expressions on the Deckers' faces, nobody's fooled. Then Susan asks if anyone's seen Janet and Roger, and Tom suavely reassures everyone with "I'm sure they've probably left." Trina warmly adds that the Millers should feel free to catch a ride with the Davises. As the Millers skip off, Tom hugs Trina and comments, "It kind of makes me feel like a parent on prom night." Trina pouts a little: "We have to get out of here, Tom. I'm dying." Poor girl! Before they can go, The Unicorn goes skipping out, and a shell-shocked and rumpled Roger emerges in her wake. Janet follows a few moments later. When Trina offers to give them a ride home, Roger says, "That's okay. We have our car." He whirls Janet away. I can only hope they're going to pull over on Lake Shore Drive and steam up the windows. And not, you know, pull over to rant about how those perversions have put them off sex for life.

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Swingtown

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